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Parents less skilled, but are the best teacher, agree or disagree?


zakitauhid25 4 / 4  
Jun 18, 2016   #1
Each person has their own opinion about parents are the best teacher or not. Personally, I agree with the idea that parents are the best teacher, because I believe some factors make them are the best.

On the other hand I agree that parents are the best teacher in order to teach daily life activity. For example when I was a kid my parents teach me how to pray, how to take a bath, how to brush my teeth, how to eat by myself, and etc. Parents are more beneficial to help children reach their future.

However, there are some reasons againts previous idea. Firstly, parents are less skilled at teaching skill. In any case, parents usually can present only viewpoint of the world, while good teaching should be based on different attitudes. Secondly, parents can be negative impact to children and some parents also teach children how to commit crime. Many incidents show that children will be thief if they see their parents are thief.

In conclusion, the things we learn from our parents are important to our lives and their contribution are much more important than traditional academic teachers and that's why I agree with this opinion.

Grahyta24 6 / 12 2  
Jun 18, 2016   #2
Hello Zakitauhid, it seems that your essay is writing IELTS task 2, isn't it? maybe next time you have to write your title clearly. As far as I read your essay, the number of words does not enough for writing IELTS task 2 which consist of at least 250 words. I have some corrections especially for your first paragraph and you can see below:

- Each person has their own opinion about parents are the best teacher or notparent's characters as a teacher(...about--- it must be completed by noun)

- ... because I believe some factors make them arebecome the best (the best ..?.. (e.g. teacher or etc.?) .

thank you and good luck :)
faisalrachmn 5 / 6  
Jun 18, 2016   #3
zaki carefull about your format,
I see from your first paragraph, u choose agree.
in your second paragraph you should write why teacher are better. and then, in third paragraph you should write about to against paragraph 2
pujakurniawan19 9 / 16 4  
Jun 19, 2016   #4
Children tend to regard their parents as role models. The parent are the teacher who make the future of the children . While each person has their own opinion about parents are the best teacher or not. Personally, I agree with the idea that parents are the best teacher, because I believe some factors make them are the best.
aviniwirastri [Contributor] 10 / 35 11  
Jun 19, 2016   #5
hi, zaki..

what kind of essay is this?
if it is ielts writing task 2. you need to write task clearly, so we can easily correct your essay.

paragraph 1:
Each person has their own opinion about whether parents are the best teacher or not.
... parents are the best teachers , because I believe some factors make them are the best .
comments :
the comma (in the last sentence is not necessary)
sub-clause (because....) is not proper.
it is better :"i agree with the idea that parents are the best teachers due to some factors"


paragraph 2 :
On the other hand I agree that parents are the best teacher in order to teach daily life activity . For example when I was a kid,(comma is necessary) my parents teachtaught me how to pray, how to take ...

comments :
1. punctuation
you have to learn how to use comma.
2. on the other hand is used to show something in the opposite (idea / opinion / statement). you don't use it properly.
3. when i was kid = past event as a sub-clause. so does the main clause, my parents taught me...
4. your idea is not well-organized. to write the paragraph, at least you have to follow the pattern : idea-reason-example-result. explain to the reader what the cohesion of teaching how to do your daily activities with your future is!


paragraph 3
However, there are some reasons againtsagainstthe previous idea.
In any case, parents usually can only present only viewpoints of the world, while good teaching ...
Secondly, parents can be a negative impact to children and some parents also teach children how to commit crimeengage in a crime . Many incidents show that children will be a thief if they see their parents are thief thieves.

comments :
1. both your ideas and structures are messed up. so, my advice is "read more English articles. or newspapers and magazines in english!"
2. word choices. before you use a specific word in your writing, you need to ensure whether the word is proper (or not).
3. countable noun. a singular noun should have at least an article (a/an/the).


paragraph 4
In conclusion, the things we learn from our parents are important to our lives ...

comments :
since i don't know what the task or purpose of this essay is, i don't know if it is right or wrong, proper or not.

but, generally speaking, your conclusion does not represent the ideas you mention above.
if it is an IELTS writing task 2, it is less than 250. so you might be in trouble.

keep writing and learn more as i advise you to do.
-)


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