Ielts writing Part 2 - Strict punishment on road offences

harsh punishment for traffic rules violations

Some people think that imposing strict punishment on drivers who break the laws is the prominent method to cut down on traffic accidents while others believe that there are other ways far more effective in promoting road safety.

On the one hand, strict punishments are deemed to be efficient in decreasing the number of traffic accidents. This is due to the fact that those penalties play as a deterrent in preventing travelers from violating laws that are common all over the world, thereby making society become more disciplined. Take an example of running a red light, after having to pay a penalty of around two million, my brother has become more responsible and has followed the rules with more senses.

On the other hand, some argue that rather than carrying out heavy penalties on lawmakers, other measures should be taken to deal with road safety-related problems. Firstly, it is essential to raise awareness among all permitted residents of the severity of road accidents as well as the responsibility for safety and this could be done even in schools or through campaigns launched by the local authorities. Secondly, more attention should be devoted to traffic signs. They are one of the effective tools that can warn people of the possibilities of accidents if they fail to follow.

In conclusion, options are divided on whether harsh punishment is the best way to improve road safety or other measures that need to be considered. I believe that imposing such strict penalties is not the most outstanding way to reduce the number of traffic accidents as well as promoting safety for the people on the road.

The prompt restatement should be divided into 2 separate sentences since these are 2 conflicting ideas and reasoning presentations. It is also - a thisis statement based on your opinion. You mistakenly placed that personal point of view in the concluding paragraph. The incorrect placement of your opinion made the essay presentation incorrect. You will definitely not get a passingTA score because of there format errors. Your personal opinion needs to be just as well explained as the public opinions so that you can create a relevant concluding paraphrase.

The discussion presentations are on point for the most part. In both paragraphs, the under-development comes from the 2nd and 3nd reasons presented. The first reason is normally well explained but the successive reasons are not. You need to use reasons that support one another in the paragraphs. Your reasons are mostly stand alone and need clearly explained individual paragraphs to better explain these to the reader.. What you need, for C + C purposes, are 2 reasons that clearly connect in the paragraphs. That way you don't need to try to develop clear and related explanations for unrelated topics.