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IELTS Task 1 : Passing high school competency exams, by subject and gender, from 2010 to 2011

aniani 20 / 20 13  
Nov 21, 2015   #1
A comparison of the figure for students who passed their examination in high school, categorized by subject and gender from 2010 to 2011, a one-year period is shown in the bar chart. Overall, it can be seen that most of the girls have finished computer science, while the boys tend to focus on geography.

With regards to science subjects, female students always experienced the majority of the percentage. The furthest gap between both genders was chemistry, around less than a third of girls passed the exam, but the boys witnessed less than this. However, the highest percentage of girls passing the exam occurred on computer science, which was more than a half, whereas the boys had 42% of them in this subjects. Then, physics and mathematics also were led by girls, nevertheless the differences between both genders were not too significant.

On the other hand, geography was overtaken by the boys. There was a large disparity between boys and girls. While the proportion of the boys noted at less than a third, and the girls just only had a fifth. Additionally, in foreign language subject, both genders experienced the same point, which were more than two fifths.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,853 2637  
Mar 24, 2017   #2
Ani, when you write a chart summary essay, never use fractions to describe the measurements that are given in actual percentage figures in the chart. Writing a summary requires you to deliver accurate figures, based upon the given illustration. Therefore, the essay that you wrote does not fall within the proper format. It tends to deliver unconfirmed "estimates" because of the method of your data presentation. The accurate and acceptable presentation would be to deliver the actual percentages at all times. That removes the "guesstimate" that your essay currently has. There is no need for you to be citing "approximates" in the essay when the bar graphs have the percentage conversions indicated. Always use the provided data in the illustration. Do not make up the figures because that causes an inaccurate and improper essay. It does not properly inform the reader. I know that you were trying to show off your complex sentence abilities and you tried to develop a higher level of discussion. However, the information that you were provided prevents you from doing that. You could have done that in Task 2, but never in Task 1 because you are provided with ample information for your summary presentation. Due to the way that you developed the essay and the problems that it presented, I do not think that you can score higher than a 4 with this version for the reasons I previously mentioned.

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