"Patrick walked into the room and spotted sandy sitting alone"

Patrick walked into the room and spotted sandy sitting alone. He walks up to her and very nervously asked her if she wanted to got to the movies with him, and she said yes. Later that day Patrick became a nervous wreck. He bought some flowers and went to her house. When Patrick knocked on the door and she opened it, Patrick's world just seemed to freeze, all he could see was her beauty glowing in the light of the moon. He handed Sandy the flowers, and she hugged him. Just as soon as she hugged him , he felt sparks crawl up his up arms and go all over his body. Right then and there Patrick knew he was head over heels for this girl and would do anything for her,he would be anything for her. Every time he saw, talked, or even looked at Sandy he would blush and look down at the ground. That was the day Patrick figured out that Sandy was the one for him.

Looks good
maybe say: It was on that day, he knew that Sandy was the one for him. (honestly you don't even need this it sounds fine as is. Just playing with the sentences to see if you like this)

saw, talked to, or even looked...( this one you need, it reads better to say talked to, rather than just talked)

Hope this helps, good job!

Yeah and you should change 'saw' to 'seen' and add a 'had' after time (read lesson on parallel structure). I think 'any' would serve better in that sentence instead of 'every' because it just sounds better. Sorry, but my perfectionistic instincts won't stop kicking me where it hurts. :P

Patrick walked into the room and spotted sandySandy sitting alone.
He walkswalked up to her and very nervously asked her if she wanted to got to the movies with him
Right then and thereAt that very moment Patrick knew he was head over heels for this girl


Every time he saw, talked, or even looked at Sandy he would blush and look down aton the ground.