Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

People around the world pursue the internet as sophisticated media to do anything such info and data

Diqon 10 / 33 12  
Oct 8, 2015   #1
I try to solve my broken grammar here. I am glad to have your feedback.

A developed technology is becoming more and more raising. There are many ways people could play and see with advance technology, and then people gain merits of technology tools. It can be seen some experts using the media net promoted products. This essay would explain negative effects of media such the internet pursued profits by shouting costumers then why ordinary people enjoy purchasing stuffs what they love on the internet.

Over a number of years, people around the world pursue the internet as sophisticated media to do anything such info and data. Several of folks catch much information what they hope. One example is news, internet users obtain adverts provided by the internet web. In fact, it makes human lives easily to deal with. It is because they do not leave a room when they need or buy things. They might order e-tickets or e-book as daily necessary that is only press a button of a computer log in a web and to choose adv. It makes people's activities commonly better.

On the other hand, people should be careful little when they buy things on the internet. This is because that sometimes there is a person who mislead when they are a price deal, or often when people order things it is not deal with they want previously. So, this is a negative impact shopping on the internet wrong ways. Even thought people do not take a line when they will buy things on the internet, but they should be mind too that they must choose which one is the good web can be believed to purchase equipment.

In conclusion, advance technology creates people's life fast. There are many ways people would see on internet like shopping. Although internet technology is the only one tool helping human being of changing lives so fast, I suggest that people should pay too much attention shopping on internet. In my opinion, the internet shopping has benefits for human breath while it also contains some drawbacks.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Oct 8, 2015   #2
Diqon, there is still a lot of confusion in your essay. Most of the thoughts remain unclear because of the way you string together the words which do not necessarily relate in an understandable manner. I can see that you placed an increased amount of effort into writing this essay. It shows in the way that your sentences try very hard to make yourself understood. I feel that you need to go back to the basics of English grammar writing in order to truly improve your writing skills.

Some of the suggestions that I can give you in order to do this is to formally enroll in beginners English language classes. That way you will learn how to develop an English thought process from the first word that comes to your mind. The classes can help you develop your English way of thinking in a coherent manner as well.

Aside from that, I would like you to start reading English language comic books like The Archies, Iron Man, The Avengers, or any comic book that you might enjoy reading. These comic books use simple English dialogue and are accompanied by action drawings which help you understand the meaning of a sentence as well as sentence development and structure.

The suggestions I am offering you above are some of the early platforms by which English as a Second Language learners get to improve their English writing and reading skills beyond the classroom. I hope that these suggestions will help you as well.

It is really hard for me to correct your essay at this point because the premise of the prompt that you are responding to is very unclear. Could you please post the original prompt here so that we can get a better idea as to whether you should be talking about technology or the internet in your response? I cannot get a clear idea from your discussion either because it is quite confusing to read.

I apologize if I am unable to help you correct your grammar at this time. There are just too many errors existing so I need to first be sure that you are properly answering the question first. Otherwise, your writing exercise will be useless.

Home / Writing Feedback / People around the world pursue the internet as sophisticated media to do anything such info and data