Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?
New technology and readers
In the cutting - edge of technology, computer devices has become prevalent in modern society so some people assumed that spending money on maintaining public libaries is not necessary . However, from my perspective, I am not in favour of this opinion.
First of all, libraries are appropriate places to concentrate on reading books or completing works due to their peaceful atmosphere. For example, the number of students who focus on studying hard tend to finish their homework in libraries rather than other places. Because instead of learning, being seduced by entertainment applications on smartphones or laptops on is inevitable. Additionally, if spending much times on working with computers can cause negative problems which impact on vision of users such as short sightedness or eyestrain.
Besides, not everyone is interested in accessing information by computers. There are several impoverished people who can not afford to pay for smart devices such as e-books, laptops, still continue reading book in local libraries. Another thing is that adoption of new technology like smartphones, computers seem to be unfeasible for elderly people as previous generations do not know how to use these devices that did not appear universally few decades ago.
In conclusion, it can not be denied that even though computer technology brings a lot of advantageous effects for readers, it can not replace the crucial position of libraries. Thus, I believe that government authorities should invest money to upgrade library infrastructure.@linhdan1198
First of all,
strong effort on this piece of writing, however do allow me to give some recommendations regarding your writing.
You dont need to put the " - " between the cutting edge word.
Cutting edge is a adjective for the technology, so cutting edge technology is enough. The OF can be omitted
" Prevalent " is used to describe that something is once widespread, indicating a period of time. We have not passed the age of computers so this word is thus not suitable.
you have made your stand clear in the opening of this essay, so this a good start , thus minimizing the chances of your essay going off topic.
"being seduced by entertainment applications on smartphones or laptops on is inevitable."
This is a point but u need to further elaborate, as in how does it affect the concentration in studying.
"if spending much times ... problems which impact on vision of users such as short sightedness or eyestrain."
" spending much times on working with computers can cause negative problems such as having an impact on the vision of users such as nearsightedness or eyestrain.
"advantageous effects"
The word advantageous already indicated the presence of a impact/effect.
Overall , it is indeed a strong effort as mentioned before, do read up more on the benefits of reading books than computer, research materials can be useful tp make your essay more believable and strong.
Good luck in your studies.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,864 
4788 Linh, your opening paragraph is weak because it does not accurately perform its task as the paraphrasing statement. You did not properly restate the prompt and you also did not meet the minimum 3 sentence requirement because your first sentence is a run-on sentence. That means, it is extremely long when it should have been divided into separate sentences in the presentation instead.You also lack the full 5 paragraph requirement for the presentation of a task 2 essay. Do not use connecting words such as "because" to start your sentences because there is no previous thought to connect to the new sentence. Majority of your discussions are mere talking points that do not have a thoroughly developed discussion or explanation because you tend to lose focus of what your actual paragraph topic is supposed to be. Overall, this essay is a good effort but would not have gotten enough scores scraped together to get a passing consideration.
Thank you for giving me recommend !
