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Many people have more attention to artificial friends than their neighbor surroudings


ayu sasmita08 5 / 6 3  
Aug 17, 2016   #1
The use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationship between people. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

In globalization era electronic media jump up significantly. Electronic media release many kind of social networking site which is help people to do everything and communicate with other people around the world easly. However, in my personal perfective, while I believe that such electronic media has a huge beneficial to the person, I agree that they have an enermouse negative effect which is can damaging individual on social communities.

With regard to individuals, the online social media has obvious advantages for each person. Firstly, some people around the world can make a friend and have a good communication by social media online without meet each other before. Previously, it is hard to have a new friends and communicate with anyone outside before development of technology and social networking site. Secondly, people can buy or reserve everything via online media easly such as cloths, book a tickets and food delivery, they use social networking only and then get what they want even stay at home.

On the other hand, electronic media take effect to the individuals on personal relationship between people can only be seen as negative. Some people more likely pay more attention to their online people rather than societies in their local community. Consequently, some people have not a good supportive relationship with other people around their neighborhood and also make some people into lazy person because of everything become instant and easly to get. Furthermore, electronic media make people more interest to spend much their time online and does not matter with their society.

To sum up, social networking in electronic media have brought some benefit to connect people around the world become closer. However, if people spend much time to electronic media it can have not had the same effect on society or local communities as closer in online people. Some people should have more activities and communication in neighborhood in order to promote the future to human quality of life.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Aug 17, 2016   #2
Hi Ayu, WELCOME to the Essay Forum Team, we hope you find this website to be valuable and a credible source of reference to your writing projects, we aim to provide you with the most accurate feedback that targets the much needed enhancement of your essay.

Having said that, please find my suggestions below;

- In this globalization era, ( mind your punctuation marks ) electronic media
- Electronic media releasedmanydifferent
- kinds of social networking
- site which is helps people to do everything
- the world easi ly.
- However, in my personal perfectiveperspective ( turn on your spell checker before writing ) ,
- a huge beneficial to the person,benefit to people,
- I agree that they have an enermouseenormous negative effect
- which is can be damaging to individuals inon social communities.

- some people around the world
- can make a friends and have
- a good communication bythrough social media
- online without meeting each other before .
- Previously, it is hard to have a new friends and communicate with anyone outside ... - I believe this sentence can be deleted as it is not necessary for this part of the essay

- Secondly, people can buy or reserve everything via online media easly ...do online shopping, that is hugely becoming a worldwide advantage of having this break through in technology.

There you have it Ayu, overall, there's still a lot of enhancements to be done in your essay and I hope you follow through with our suggested modifications.


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