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Many people believe, that authorities are unnecessarily investing money on the arts

MindfulIELTS 2 / 2 3  
Jul 28, 2020   #1

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts

Nowadays, art is a vast subject which plays a significant role in people's life. While many people believe authority is investing unnecessary money on this, I would argue no matter where they capitalize, as long as there is a joyful life, there is art.

To begin with, I will redefine the meaning of art. Each individual has a different point of view about art, but beautiful art means goodness, truth, and beauty. For instance, when a city is projected or when a table is manufactured to inspire and motivate people in life, it is real art.

First of all, that is true to a certain extent that the government could waste their national budget if they subsidized for corrupted art. As it can be seen easily from the media, the art level of artist is diversified; and not everyone can create meaningful and profound works for people to enjoy life. Sometimes, people's life suffers due to negative art. For example, after DC Film published the famous science fiction Bat Man movie, many people were statistically influenced by the villain Joker. As a result, they perform negative behavior in the community or even commit crimes. Authorities, thus, should have more awareness about the disposition of their financial budget for a better future.

On the other hand, the government could completely invest money for positive purposes elsewhere and harvest real art in life. Considering environment protection, as rulers conserve natural landscapes with decent finance, its beauty may inspire plenty of artistic and splendid pictures. Thus art and life are inter-are; this is because that is and that is because this is. There is life, so there is art and vice versa. As long as people keep watering the seed of happiness in the goodness, truth, and beauty, it will prosper in another form of artistic view.

In brief, while it is true that the government possibly put their money in the false purpose and it is wastage, I believe money can not be financed outside the cosmo to transform life as well as art. And the manifestation of art, besides its utility, depends on people's awareness or their energy of mindfulness.
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Jul 28, 2020   #2
You did not address the prompt requirements of the prompt. This is an extent essay but you failed to discuss it as such. You have written an argumentative essay, without considering that you are not being asked to argue a point but rather, deliver an sense of how much you agree or disagree with the given discussion topic. Therefore, the essay is not in accordance with the prompt requirements. It will be considered as delivering a response not related to the task, which means this essay will have a difficult time achieving a passing score. It is not a comparative essay, nor is it an argument. It is personal opinion essay, but it requires you to discuss it from a singular point of view, based on 2 strong supporting reasons.

It appears that you have a fondness for the extent essays. However, you are not well informed when it comes to how to write such an essay. Do not proceed with writing more extent essays until you have properly learned how to do so. You may review the other extent essays posted here to learn how to address this prompt. You might also consider using our private review services or make your essay URGENT so that you may receive a more comprehensive review of your work and how to improve your writing.
monica0407 3 / 4 1  
Jul 28, 2020   #3
1/ your essay have a range of vocabularies but the word "redefine" means " give sth a new meaning", so did you use it exactly?
2/ I don't know what is the function of the second paragraph. If it have no function, it should be excluded.
3/ the last sentence of the third paragraph is out of the topic, because it is not related to government
p/s: these are my point of view, but i hope it will be helpful for you.

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