IELTS2 Some people believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life

IELTS Task2 help me to correct and tell me how to improve (also give me a score if you like )

In some societies, it is increasingly common to try to achieve good health and fitness through physically demanding sports, special diets, or preventive medicine conventional or alternative. Some people, however, believe that the best way to stay fit and healthy is simply to lead a normal life.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

　　With increasing awareness of health, more and more people tend to make extreme changes to improve their health on a daily basis. However, some approve that keeping a normal life is a key to stay healthy, In my opinion, the most important thing for one's health lies in the definition of normal life.

　　First, a proper attitude for keeping fit should take one's body condition into account. The standard of normal life differs from people to people and should pay attention to it that wether has caused harm to the body. A typical instance is that many people have a sedentary lifestyle and unregulated schedule for bedtime. In this result, although people who with the irregular routine consider that as a normal life, both physical and mental condition are impaired day by day.

　　Second, with both medical and technological development grow rapidly, it is not a negative manner to modify people's lifestyle slightly by compound with them. In addition, the environment is highly contaminated and polluted after industrial development which increased the potential risks for human to get fital diseases. To prevent people from being ill and unhealthy, taking the preventive measures, such as routine check from hospital, diet plan from nutritionists and exercise guidance from consultants, are necessary.

　　In conclusion, although staying in a normal life may have merits in some aspects, I still disagree with its ambiguous concept, and I regard people's health would be improved effectively by combining with the high technology which is used properly.

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Your essay misses the minimum word count by only one word. That is too bad. Even a single word that makes you come under the word count will have a minimal effect on your TA score. Yes, it is minimal, but a deduction is still a deduction and could affect the final score for your paper in the end. Always write more than 250 words, but less than 300 words. 5 sentences per paragraph will automatically help you achieve the magic word count.

There will be additional TA points deductions in the prompt restatement section as you do not properly respond to the question for the discussion. Rather than an extent response, you provided only an opinion. Such a presentation is a prompt deviation which will be considered non-responsive to the discussion instruction / question provided. You will be score in the TA section on that basis. As such, the TA score will not be in the passing range and could actually help to further prevent your essay from achieving a passing score. That is because of the other scoring considerations where your essay also proves to have significant errors.