IELTS2: Some people believe that graduation from university is the key to a fulfilling career

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important

Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people believe that graduation from university is the key to a fulfilling career. Others think that it is more important for young people to gain as much experience and many soft skills as possible. From my perspective, the success of each person is a combination of the acquisition of hard skills and soft skills when they are young.

Studying in university, students have the chance to enjoy a professional education, after which they receive a legal certificate. This is of great importance when it comes to occupations that demand professionalism. Take my cousin as an example. He became a graduate of University of Economics HCMC - a prestigious university in Vietnam - in 2005. Currently, he is doing a remunerative job as an auditor. However, in order to be presented the degree, students have to study enormous amounts of theoretical knowledge, some of which, at times, can't be applied into reality. As a result, they lack some relevant skills for their desirable job - the job they are preparing for.

Getting experience and developing soft skills contribute significantly to strengthen emotional intelligence which increases one's adaptability and resilience when coming to new environments. It is very likely that those who have higher EQ will be accepted and achieve success faster when entering the job market because they know how to get on well with others and always propel themselves forward. Nevertheless, one of the unavoidable disadvantages, if people do not finish their university study, is that these people occasionally lose the invaluable opportunities as they fail to satisfy the companies' criteria in terms of solid education. They lack the bachelor degree to apply for highly-paid employment.

In my opinion, every student should try to strike the balance between studying hard to graduate from university and acquiring sufficient experience and soft skills because both are equally important for a student to become a brilliant job seeker.

Hi, I think your essay displays great mastery of the English language. You have addressed the prompt well and your essay is clearly organized. Here are some specific suggestions:

after which they receive a legal certificate. {to me, a diploma is not really "a legal certificate" }

occupations that demand professionalism. {maybe "professional credentials" is better, since you are talking about certifications and so on}

He became a graduate of {"became a graduate of" sounds needlessly verbose - why not, "He graduated from the University ..."}

Currently, he is doing a remunerative job {"doing a remunerative job" sounds very unnatural and awkward to me - maybe "he is enjoying a profitable career as ..."} ..., can't {avoid contractions in formal essays} be applied into reality.{"into reality" sounds odd to me - maybe "applied in practical settings"}

... their desired job - the job they are preparing for.

... when coming to {"when entering new ..." seems better} new environments.

those who have higher EQ {I am not sure the grader will know what EQ refers to - I would give a short description}

... finish their university study, {"studies" is better here}

... in terms of a solid education. In other words,they lack the bachelor degree, which is necessary to apply for ...

Duc, while your opening paraphrase was excellent, your body of paragraphs were lacking in the proper representation of the prompt requirements. When you are directed to discuss both points of view, the points of view to be presented should be based upon public opinion and examples. It should not be based on personal opinions and personal examples as these are to be presented in the personal point of view paragraph instead. What happened in your essay is that you ended up discussing both points of view from a personal opinion rather than a general discussion of an academic statement.

There must be public and private ownership of the opinions presented. This is done by indicating:

Those who believe that a college degree is the key to a better paying job are mostly those who...

While those who think that experience and soft skills are more important tend to reason that...

All things considered though, my point of view is that...

Using the above presentation better clarifies whose opinions are being presented in the essay since it is a comparison essay discussion. The personal opinion is not well placed as a concluding paragraph as the concluding paragraph needs to be a simple restatement of your prompt paraphrase with a repeat of the thesis statement in a concluding form. That would be the restatement of your personal opinion in short form.

Additionally, you should avoid repeating phrases from the original presentation as you did with


Your ability to represent the same thought, in a different manner using similar English terms will earn you a higher LR score. In this instance, I would have instead written it as:

There are certain professionals who climbed the success ladder in their profession through hands on experience based on practical job training...

Since I was able to show that I have the analytical ability to represent the same thought process using a different presentation, the examiner will tend to score me higher on the English word usage score. It shows the degree of complexity of your English language and the meaning of the words. You know the proper meaning of the words to use it in the proper context in a similar presentation.