Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 6


IELTS;Some people are born challenge-takers while others prefer lives without change



eileenalien 8 / 20  
Mar 25, 2013   #1
TASK 2: PEOPLE NATURALLY RESIST MAKING CHANGES IN THEIR LIVES. WHAT KIND OF PROBLEMS CAN THIS CAUSE? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST?

Some people are born challenge-takers and they get excited while facing change. On the other hand, others prefer lives without change. Once they set on a certain living pace, they will be afraid of making changes. It is hard to tell right from wrong on this issue as they both have their advantages and disadvantages. However, one thing is certain that resisting making changes slips countless pleasure in our lives.

People who resist making changes in their lives argue that changes might trigger uncessary anxiety. For instance, changing a job might not only forces people to adopt to the related stuff but also strange situations and culture. It does take time for people to get through these tasks. However, it is undeniable that numerous achievements are products of changes. Take myself for example, I cherish changes, which could bring me new friends, opportunities and many other delightful things beyond my imagination. Without changes, peopleare likely to miss plenty of refreshing movements in their lives, such as an encounter with true love, an idea that might inspire you, etc.

Although people have the freedom to choose their living styles no matter they are challenging or peaceful, it is advisable for all of us to have a positive attitude towards changes. Education is an ideal solution to this problem. First of all, students should be encouraged to use lateral thinking at school. By doing this, students could learn the fact that "world keeps changing" deeply. In spite of this, teachers are supposed to give students proper guidance on how to tackle changes. As a result, students will get used to changes at an early age. And when they grow up, they will regard changes as a "must" in their lives and perform smoothly.

In conclusion, even though changes could trouble people sometimes, life tends to be much more disappointing without changes. After all, no one get the chance to live twice. If people could get used to changes earlier, they could go through changs sucessfully and even enjoy them.

mhss 18 / 53  
Mar 25, 2013   #2
your introduction is great!
but It seems the essay is not complete in the absence of the conclusion.
chessman567 5 / 168  
Mar 25, 2013   #3
Good, but you do need to do a LOT of editing.

Some people are born challenge-takers ANDthey get excited WHILE facing changes. ON THE OTHER HAND,While other people prefer TO lives without flactuation (CHANGE).

Did you see how many mistakes were in that ONE SENTENCE? Edit your whole essay and I will look over it again
dumi 1 / 6793  
Mar 25, 2013   #4
Some people are born challenge-takers, they get excited facing changes.

Good start.... I prefer if you align this more with the topic;
Some people are born risk-takers, they love to accept changes.

WhileHowever, some otherspeople prefer lives without flactuationfluctuations .

.... "while" is a connector and therefore you should have combined this line with the previous one with " while".

It is hard to tell right from wrong on this issue as they both have their advantages and disadvantages.

.... my suggestion;
It is hard to conclude which is better because they both have their own advantages and disadvantages.
It seems you can write very well and also you have very good ideas. However you need to pay attention to the essay structure which should minimum have 4 paras (Intor + 2 body paras+ conclusion)
mhss 18 / 53  
Mar 26, 2013   #5
Hope this sounds better,
However, one thing is certain that resistANCE FOR making changes slips countless pleasure in our lives.

A good piece of writing, in fact you have a wide range of vocabulary .

mhss.
Annateee 2 / 11  
Mar 27, 2013   #6
I like your introduction !!! :) such a good start...
But i think you need to write in 4 or 5 paragraphs ..it looks better :)
overall is good :)


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS;Some people are born challenge-takers while others prefer lives without change
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳