Some people consider that several subjects like Maths and Philosophy should be optional for study

Writing task 2 - Education

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Answer:

Up to now, education has always been a matter of social concern. Some people consider that several subjects like Maths and Philosophy should be optional in the children's study program because of their difficulty. While I accept that children should have a right to choose their favorite subjects, I still believe that Maths and philosophy are fundamental science subjects that every child needs to learn.

On the one hand, studying compulsory subjects in schools can bring about some drawbacks. First, if children have to learn these subjects, they will find them time-consuming and ineffective. For example, students who are strong in literature or art, consider that knowledge of algebra is useless for their career in the future. Second, difficult subjects may create a negative studying environment. When children have to participate in such difficult lessons like Philosophy, they may sleep in class or even drop out of school. This may lead to more serious social problems such as video game addiction or a rise in the crime rate.

On the other hand, Maths and Philosophy are basic science subjects which help to provide students with background knowledge. In terms of Maths, it helps children to develop vital skills such as calculation, analytical skill, logical thinking, problem-solving skill, and decision-making skill. It is obvious that people do find difficulties in paying their bills, calculating their time if they do not know how to calculate. When it comes to Philosophy, this subject brings children an overview of the natural world. In addition, through philosophy, children get knowledge about the relationship between human being and natural world as well as the rules that the nature world operates, which are essential in every aspect of their life

To sum up, although studying Maths and Philosophy is essential for children in their life, children's choice for subjects that they learned should be considered

This is not a comparative essay. This is a single opinion essay which you failed to respond to in the expected manner. You are to give a direct response, within the paraphrase paragraph, to the question:

To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The response that you gave:

I still believe that Maths and philosophy are fundamental science subjects that every child needs to learn

is incorrect. It is incorrect as it does not offer an extent of your opinion to the given topic of:

Some people think that because some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy difficult they ought to be optional instead of compulsory.

The response that you should have presented is:

I greatly disagree with this suggestion because Math and Philosophy are topics students should be familiar with.

The the discussion should have been:

If one were to consider that most of the high paying jobs these days involve some sort of math, then the opinion that math should be optional learning is faulty. Consider if you will that... This is one reason that I majorly oppose the optional study suggestion.

One should also consider that the youth of today passionately verbalize their opinions. Therefore, Philosophy will be an area of study of great interest to them... That is why I believe you will understand when I say that I am in a strong disagreement with the idea that Philosophy should not be taught to students.

These reasons largely support my opinion that.. Again, it is important for children to learn... due to the relevance of these topics in their adult lives. So I have to truly and strongly oppose the given opinion.

Stick to the given topic, use the 2 reasoning paragraphs to prove your opinion to be correct. A comparative discussion does not support an opinion, it merely explains the topics for discussion. That is not what the discussion requires.