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People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it



BAONGOC030815 1 / -  
Apr 14, 2024   #1
Deciding what you want to be in the future is always a big question that require people to find an answer for themself before graduation. In my opinion, I prefer some people who luckily know what they need to do and want to be are more likely to have a satisfying working life than others who find it is difficult to make a choice, that is why they change their job often.

Some people already have a dream that they keep pursuing for a long time. Therefore, they will have a lot of time to study and improve themself by learning more useful skills which are beneficial for their future jobs. The more time they have, the more experiences are gathered as people can join many group, make friends with many people who may help them in the future when they are needed. Moreover, when people achieve the goal, they will feel satisfied with what they have done and don't regret it. Also, spending a lot of time finding and studying can help people easily get familiar with the job, and even be promoted to a higher position if they do it well to get a higher salary.

On the other hand, people who feel lost in choosing their future job have to take a long time searching and finding job that is suitable for them. Almost companies nowadays prefer to recruit young personnel who have both skills and experiences, so if people taking so much time to find a job can miss the opportunities. Plus, changing jobs frequently can cost much money to return to study from the beginning, while they have to earn money for the study. People who can not determine what to do won't have a fulfilling working life nor professional satisfaction and success.

In conclusion, I believe people should decide on a career as soon as possible if they want to have a fulfilling life in the future, because changing jobs frequently can only bring difficulties and heartbreak in life.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Apr 20, 2024   #2
The first paragraph is not well developed. The idea behind the original topic got lost in the paraphrasing. The same goes for the writer's opinion. It is a run-on sentence that does not really make sense to a native English speaker. You have to keep your sentences short, and focused on single idea presentations. Otherwise, you end up with a confusing mess in the paragraph. This first paragraph is evidence of that.

Seeing as this is a single opinion essay, you cannot write reasoning paragraphs that support both sides. That is because you are going to be scored on how you best defend your thoughts in support of one opinion only. The essay will receive a failing mark because you do not have enough ideas and supporting evidence presented for either points of view.


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