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People discharged carbon dioxide - Practising IELTS 11 test 3 writing task 1



Carolinewhite 1 / 1  
Jun 8, 2020   #1

Co2 emissions



The line graph illustrated that the people of four countries discharged carbon dioxide averagely in the recent decades. The United Kingdom and Sweden are decreasing throughout the years; on the other hand, Italy and Portugal are increasing.

In 1967, the UK at the point of almost 11 and Sweden began at more than 1 metric tonnes per person, the UK remained the same till 1977, Sweden reach a peak of over 10 metric tonnes at the same year. after that, the UK slightly decline to almost 9 metric tonnes in 2007, Sweden dropped to less than 6 at the end.

At the beginning, Italy started at more than 4 and Portugal was at slightly more than 1 metric tonnes. they both rose steadily until the year of 1997, Italy remained the same to the end at almost 8 metric tonnes, and Portugal was slightly rose almost got to 6 metric tonnes.


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Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
Jun 8, 2020   #2
You have to remember that you are being scored on your ability to follow the correct writing format for paragraphs. That means, no run-on sentences as you did in this essay. Each paragraph should be divided into individual sentences, numbering anywhere from 3-5 sentences. Only then will your essay be properly formatted in terms of presentation format.

The summary overview is incomplete. It only has the topic sentence and the trending statement at the moment. You did not present the type of measurement (CO2 emissions measured in metric tons) and the inclusive decades of measurement (1967-2007). These are all part of the summary overview that helps you to outline the information presentation per paragraph. It also gives you the opportunity to write about 175-190 words, which is the ideal number of words to write for maximum scoring consideration.

The data presentation paragraphs are acceptable in terms of information, but not in formatting consideration. I already explained why this is so above so bear in mind, the paragraph needs sentences, not run-on presentations. Use a full stop more than a comma in the presentation. Show individual information and analysis, not difficult to follow information based on various data measurements.
phuong10d2tb 2 / 1  
Jun 8, 2020   #3
You need to mention units as tons and use verb in past tense such as reached and declined instead of reach and decline. This essay is not long enough, you have to write at least 150 words. Additionally, the way you described and compared numbers is not very clear, so make sure that you organise your idea carefully before writing.

Keep trying and you will do much better in the future.


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