Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


People can eat different types of food effortlessly without any difficulties in preparing it.



shintacandrade 10 / 66  
Mar 19, 2015   #1
Nowadays, food becomes easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people life?YES/NO.

These days, preparing food is much easier than such an activity in the past. Some people have different views about this alteration. While many believe this has improved people's lives since their activities become convenient, others think this has also generated dire effects on people's lifestyle as many a person depends on cooking machines and instant seasonings to prepare food. However, I strongly believe people can gain more advantages of the change than its disadvantages.

...

AbIk 3 / 8  
Mar 19, 2015   #2
However, they have to (I prefer should instead of have to or must , because this is more polite expression) do physical activities even though kitchen machines are much more practical.
EF_Carol - / 145  
Mar 24, 2015   #3
Nowadays, food becomes easier to prepare. Has this change improved the way people life? YES/NO.

These days, preparing food is much easier than such an activity in the past. Some people have different views about this alteration. While many believe this has improved people's lives since their activities become convenient, others think this has also generated dire effects on people's lifestyle as many a person depends on cooking machines and instant seasonings to prepare food. However, I strongly believe people can gain more advantages of the change than its disadvantages.

There is no doubt that in this modern era people can eat different types of food effortlessly, without any difficulties in preparing it. For example, cooking food is getting simple to do by using sophisticated kitchen utensils: for example rice cookers, microwaves and juicers. A rice cooker can be found in virtually every home. By this equipment, people do not have to do complicated processes to cook rice. Consequently, this development has helped people's live, thus they will have much more free time to do other activities while cooking.

Apart from the tangible benefits, some people argue this change has some drawbacks. First, automatic kitchen equipment has steadily replaced the way people cook manually involving physical activities. As a result, many people have a sedentary lifestyle which is harmful for people's health in the long-term period. Another thing is that the rapid growth in seasoning packets which have poor nutritional, values and unhealthy substances has led the emergence of diseases such as cancer, Alzheimer or allergies. Although people consume nutritious food, in fact, the food is not good for their health when they digest too many those seasonings in it. Hence, it is evident that unless people rely on using kitchen machines and instant seasonings, they will not get such serious medical problems.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the way people get food ready, actually has brought a better life as they can manage the time effectively and do other jobs. However, they have to do physical activity even though kitchen machines are much more practical. Likewise, they should ensure the food contains essential nutrients or has no harmful substances. Finally, this improvement should be encouraged followed by a good understanding about healthy lifestyles.

I think you present both sides of the argument fairly clearly. However, some of your sentences didn't make sense without some punctuation additions. Also, I changed some words, to make more sense.

I think you should talk about the ingredients, in the seasoning packets. Perhaps you may mention preservatives, or msg. On the plus side you could mention that some seasoning packets have nutritional additives, like vitamins, which in moderation could help you!

You need to be aware of sentence structure, not to run-on, and to break up long sentences with commas, semi-colons, and colons. I also think that you really emphasize the time saving element, by repeating it, a few times, and that is good, because it's the classic way that society has valued inventions.

Well done!

ef_carol


Home / Writing Feedback / People can eat different types of food effortlessly without any difficulties in preparing it.
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳