Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Some people enjoy changes and new experience, others like to stay unchanged. Compare both approaches



Watsup 2 / 3  
Oct 26, 2017   #1
*P/s: The full topic is: " Some people enjoy changes and look forward to new experiences, others like their lives to stay the same and not want to change their usual habits.Compare these two approaches to life. Which appoach do you prefer ?

the positive view of change



There are various tendencies in the way people encounter to problems in life.Some people appreciate adjustments and they contemplate to different acquaintances, while others take satisfaction in making their activities in the same manner and do not want to shift.In this essay, i will discuss both sides of the argument and represent my opinion.

To begin with, the idea of confronting new experiences is quite attractive for two main reasons.First, a new awareness can only be achieved by undergoing new advances.To become the best in the fields which people expect to work , they have to be challenged with different and new questions or situations.By training with this method, people will improve their ability to solve the problems more wisely and quickly.One illustration of this is that if people want to be a scientist who can invent something modern, they should be able to adjust and take full advantage of modifications to finally base on it and create inventions.Second, being entertained with changes is also an ideal way to enjoy life to the full.If people's activities repeated continuously, life would be boring and no inspiration.Therefore, modification is a key to solve this issue because it will help people to find new opportunities, to overcome obstacles and to enjoy diverse and beautiful factors.For instance, people can travel to a new country to learn new things and thus not only improve their knowledge but also make them happier, more self-confident and more persistent.

However, the public who are fond of static lives do show some persuasive arguments.It goes without saying that a life without or little changes is really peaceful and safe.In other words, these people avoid facing with difficulties and risks; they do not want to spend their days with worries and plans.For instance,normal employees often choose to do a boring job but with a high salary instead of working at their favourite fields but just can get a living wage.Besides, a durable lifestyle will protect people's health efficiently because these ones often look at problems with uninteresting eyes, so they do not intend to concentrate on with great deal of doing and time,hence their energy can be unaffected.

In conclusion, both sides have its own valid reasons, but i am in favor of the positive view of change as it is a main reason for human evolution.Without changes, people could not break their limit to acquire more knowledge and thus the society would not be able to refine and the general public might face up to unsolved issues.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Oct 27, 2017   #2
Trong, the standard format for an IELTS essay test requires 5 paragraphs of 5 sentences each. the format of which is as follows:

1. Prompt restatement
2. Opinion 1
3. Opinion 2
4. Personal Opinion
5. Closing statement

Each paragraph should contain only one line of discussion because of the 5 sentence maximum requirement. The format for each body paragraph is:
1. Topic sentence
2. Reason
3. Supporting statement 1
4. Supporting statement 2
5. Example

In some instances, the supporting statement can be cut back to just 1 sentence so you will have around 3-4 sentences in that paragraph. Not really ideal but it will still get a decent scoring consideration provided your discussion is always as complete as the ones that you presented in this practice essay.

You need to remember that your personal opinion should never be bundled into the concluding statement because it doesn't allow for the proper closure of the discussion. The focus of the closing paragraph is a reverse summary of the opening statement. This time, repeat the prompt, summarize the discussion, then repeat your opinion. End of story.

This essay is pretty strong and, if it were not for the scoring considerations that are based on preset parameters, it could have gotten you a very high score. The main problem, is that you did not properly represent the opening statement. Let me show you how it should be done:

It is said that people try to live their lives based on 2 different considerations. The first, is that one should know how to deal with the evolution of life and in the process, enjoy the new adventures it offers. The other, is life should not be subject to adjustments so that their routines do not change. In this essay, I will compare these two points of view on life and then present a statement about which approach I feel suits me best.

It is important that you stick to the original prompt discussion and present a proper outline to help you keep track of how to discuss the essay in the succeeding paragraphs. By using synonyms in place of the original keywords, you increase your LR score and allow for a higher GRA score because of the mix of simple to complex sentences in one paragraph. All of these are considered in the final scoring stage.
LadyOfClockwork 30 / 100  
Oct 27, 2017   #3
@Watsup
Hi. I'm glad to paraphrase the prompt for you:

=>Changes are a favorite of some people, who desire novelties in the further. Others hope their lives will remain as they are and are reluctant to make changes to their habitual ways.

enjoy => a favorite of
look forward to => desire
stay the same => stay/remain as they are
new experience => novelty


Home / Writing Feedback / Some people enjoy changes and new experience, others like to stay unchanged. Compare both approaches
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳