Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


People should face tough situations in life where they need to make a hard decisions. CBEST PROMPT



andreita89pp 2 / 6  
Mar 6, 2020   #1

Explain a risk you have taken in your life. What did you learn from it?



Sometimes in life people take risks and in my case I changed my whole life because I fell in love with my now husband. In 2014, I met Stacey in Seattle while I was visiting the city, 6 months after we met he came to Spain to spend the summer at my house. After spending that summer together we decided to start a relationship and because I did not have a job at that time, Stacey and I decided that I should be the one moving to Seattle.

Moving to another country 9 hours behind and with no family or friends was a risk for me, I was leaving everything I love in my town to start a new life with the man that I loved. Also, the risk was even bigger because we just knew each other for about a year and I did not know if our relationship was going to work out. Moreover, my family was sad and worried when I told them what was going to happen, specially my mother.She tried to change my mind and gave me many good reasons to stay at home.

Luckily, moving to another country changed my life forever but in a good way and because of my decision, I have a wonderful life with my husband Stacey and I learned that even when the road is hard never give up because after the storm there is always a bright day. I am not going to lie, it was not easy but nowadays I can say that taking that risk gave me professional opportunities and chances to travel to my country at least twice a year.

Even though was a hard decision, I thought that I needed to discover by myself if my life with Stacey in Seattle was going to work out. I strongly believe that people should face this type of situations in life where they need to make a hard decision, because what may be risky one day it could be the best choice in life.

yenle999 2 / 4  
Mar 7, 2020   #2
Hello andreita89pp, here are some feedbacks for your essay
- You should add a comma after these words: in life, in my case, after we meet, that summer together. Some sentence with have the words"and", but", " never",you should put a comma before them.

- especially
-In the last paragraph, the subject is missing
-this type of situations
Hope you find these comment useful.Thank you so much.
JasmineNguyen 2 / 4  
Mar 7, 2020   #3
hi!
here are my comments:
- my now husband -> my current husband
- "In 2014, I met Stacey in Seattle while I was visiting the city, 6 months after we met he came to Spain to spend the summer at my house" -> not natural. I think you can say: " In 2014, I met Stacey in Seattle in my visit to this city. 6 months later, he came to Spain and spent the summer with me. Since then, we decided to start a relationship,...."
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Mar 7, 2020   #4
I strongly suggest that you do not mention any identifying names in your test essay, should the opportunity arise. Protect your privacy. Do not mention any identifying information. Keep your privacy protected. You don't really discuss lessons that you have learned in life. You just speak of the way that your relationship developed and how much you enjoy it. There is no conflict from which you should have learned a lesson. Instead, you make it seem like your life was not really challenged by the move that you made. While this is a simple essay, I don't think it scores well enough in terms of representing the discussion prompt. This is still a 3 scoring essay.


Home / Writing Feedback / People should face tough situations in life where they need to make a hard decisions. CBEST PROMPT
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳