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People have been facing many environmental damages caused by gas emissions from private transport

lasouris 1 / 1  
Jun 2, 2020   #1
People think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems.

Give your opinion.

In the modern world, people have been facing many environmental damages caused by gas emissions from private transport. Many are of the view that increasing the cost of gas may be a feasible solution for this problem, and the government should implement this plan to protect the environment. I firmly agree that this measure would have an impact on the way we use vehicles. This essay is to present the observations about my point of view.

On the one hand, one of the major contributors that lead to pollution is gas emissions from private transport, especially in big cities. If the government raises the prices of fuel, it will affect people dramatically in the way they transport. Instead of using cars for transportation, there would be many different choices they could choose from to reduce the costs. For a prime example, buses or subway might be considered because of the convenience and popularity. This measure would help to ease traffic flow in urban areas so that it could reduce the total amount of gas emissions.

On the other hand, an increase in the prices of gasoline can trigger automobile manufacturers to change vehicle prices in the way they can gain profits. Consumers will have to pay more to purchase a vehicle; this means they need to make a wise decision when choosing a car if they want to have more disposable income to use for other purposes. Inevitably, the fall in manufacturing output of the auto industry is a scenario which could be expected. This method could be considered a sustainable approach in an effort to reduce greenhouse gas, which dramatically influences the environment.

To sum up, people are living in a polluted world caused by gas emissions. In this regard, increasing the cost of gasoline could be a suitable way for the government to answer the big question about environmental protection.

Bhavi 2 / 6  
Jun 3, 2020   #2
@lasouris according to me , you need to work on your punctuation and idea should organise in better way
kunalsikri 1 / 6  
Jun 3, 2020   #3
Hi Bhavi,
I did try to skim through the content but failed to find punctuation error.
Would you be kind enough to catch few punctuation error? it will help me as well, I am bad with punctuation aswell.
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,741 3078  
Jun 3, 2020   #4
Was this written for the Task 2 IELTS Essay test? Kindly remember to indicate if this is an English exercise or a practice test so that I will be able to give you the most applicable and focused advise next time. For now, I'll be focusing on what I can without concentrating on any particular English test or exercise. Also, post the full prompt next time as I do not believe that what you provided is the correct, complete, and most accurate representation of the original prompt.

What I can see is that you did a comparative discussion of the possible reasons to (not) support the given discussion topic. If the prompt allows you to use a comparative discussion then that is alright. However, the discussion still asks you to present a solid opinion at the end. You did not deliver a true opinion, based on the comparative discussion you presented. So your writing actions could probably be only partly correct. It can only be fully correct if you presented a solid and singular personal opinion within the presentation.

You need to have a proper representation of your personal opinion by presenting your discussion using a first person pronoun. You have to show that you have a background of or knowledge regarding English writing rules, regardless of whether it be in UK or American English. You must ensure that you show your proper academic writing abilities by presenting your opinion in the proper manner. In this instance, you should have an extra paragraph that will help the reader understand what your actual point of view is, based upon the comparative discussion points you presented. You should never make it a habit to present that as a one liner in the conclusion. You have to develop your response completely. That means you need to present:

- Your opinion
- Your primary reason for believing this
- An example that proves your point
- An expanded explanation based on the sample
- Your transition sentence

Without knowing the full qualifications for this essay, I would say that you did an acceptable job, but you fell short in some areas of the presentation. I indicated how that happened above.

With regards to your vocabulary, your word choices are good, but not really within the expectations for this type of essay. You should be using simpler words that would help the presentation feel more naturally written as opposed to using complicated words that do not really work well in meaning with the overall sentence presentation.
OP lasouris 1 / 1  
Jun 3, 2020   #5
Yes, this is a practice test for Ielts Writing task 2, I'm still working on it. Based on your knowledge, could you please mark this essay for me. It helps me a lot to visualize what I should do next because I aim for band 7 in writing.

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