Some people fail on their school but achieve success in their adult life. Why do you think

Some people fail on their school but achieve success in their adult life. Why do you think this will happen?
What causes/reasons may lead to a person's successful life?

We know that Steve Jobs, Akio Morita and other famous people were same as other children as their performance on all lessons was not even good. It is so surprising that how they reached to outstanding success and become game changer in the world economy. There are some contributing factor that result to outstanding achievement in person's life. In this essay I will examine the importance of some characters that makes people leading role in their society.

To begin with, one common character among those successful people is that deep interest in one special area rather than being successful in all lessons. When they become interested in one subject, they continue to develop that area further. For example, Akio Morita, who is a founder of Sony Corporation, was excellent at engineering courses but not in social lessons. As a result of it, overall performance seemed poor but that specialization leaded him to become magic person who created many technologies.

Second, being creative is the most importance character brings us to successful life. It is a fact that children who are keen on to initiate something new, they are highly likely to become game changer when they reach a mature. Moreover, perseverance is an important factor of achievement where only person who never gives up to obstacle and stand up again after the failure reaches a top of their class.

In the conclusion, I am convinced that common character found in famous and successful people is being creative and persevered. Also we need to emphasis a role of being specialized in one area that lead to outstanding achievement in our future life.

Well , this is a good way to start. But the problem is that it implies that all the children are not so good with their performance in their lessons. You need to fix that problem :(

We know that Steve Jobs, Akio Morita and many other famous people did not do so great during their college lives.


You don't adequately introduce the background of your topic;


You need to talk about this point - some people who failed in schools do great in their adult life.

here is the prompt:


and Were I you, I would start analyzing the prompt, like this:
Topic/discussion: Some people fail on their school but achieve success in their adult life.
Task 1: Why do you think this will happen?
Task 2: What causes/reasons may lead to a person's successful life?

A more detailed look at the 2 tasks above, they are called two questions to answer. Therefore, both questions must be covered. As your reader, I didn't see you focus these 2 questions on the body paras.

My word: If you want to uplift your Task Responses/Achievement, then you'd better discuss the 2 tasks.


Hope this help :)