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IELTS TASK 2: If people want to find a job, they have to move away from their friends........



huonguyen0206 1 / -  
Jun 17, 2023   #1
In many countries today, if people want to find a job, they have to move away from their friends and their families.

Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?



It is common knowledge that many individuals opt to depart their families and friends to pursue their career goals in different societies. From my perspective, I believe that the advantages of this trend are more significant despite its obvious shortcomings.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that relocating for a job comes with some disadvantages for workers. Obviously, they are likely to suffer from mental issues due to geographical barriers. Physical distance usually discourages individuals from confiding their troubles to their loved ones. Consequently, those people tend to keep suffering to themselves, which can lead to psychological diseases such as depression. Additionally, time consumption is another notable drawback to a certain extent. Since it is challenging for some to adapt to a new environment, people have to devote some time to make new friends and get used to the working spaces subsequently.

On the other hand, moving away from their beloved people for a job can benefit employees in various ways, which I believe far outweighs its shortcomings. First and foremost, pursuing employment beyond their place of origin may offer increased prospects for superior career opportunities. Cities and metropolises are hubs of various industries, which results in advancing their career path and a promising future. As a result, it is much easier for individuals to find a suitable job. This, moreover, can help people instil a sense of independence as they need to tackle problems without parental support. Should people live far away from their family members, they are forced to put aside some money and avoid unnecessary expenses to pay bills on time.

Conclusively, it seems to me that the merits of job relocation are more notable than the disadvantages. Thus, employees should be encouraged to work in big cities in terms of independence and better career choices.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15460  
Jun 18, 2023   #2
Only the second reasoning paragraph will be given scoring considerations for this writing task. That is because only that portion supports the opinion you presented in the restatement + writer's opinion paragraph. Therefore, the essay will get a failing score based on an incompletely developed and supported writer's opinion. This is not a comparative essay. It is a single opinion essay reliant on your ability to prove that your point has valid supporting opinions. You did not that effectively in this essay because you used the incorrect response format. When you use the incorrect response format, you will end up losing major scoring considerations based on task accuracy and related response formatting.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: If people want to find a job, they have to move away from their friends........
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