People should find what their talent is, to support what they do, to reach their goal in live

I try to make essay by my idea, but i think it is so simple so i need some ideas to make better this essay.thank you everyone

Prompt : Some people say that the success is 10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work. Is hard work the key to success or is talent also important?

Many people want to get success in their life. They always try to get it,but 10 percent of them do the work with their talent and 90 percent the people do hard work to get success without talent. For me personally, i agree that to be success is not only do hard work but, i think people must have the talent also. Be a success person is a dream of every person. For example, the sales or marketing who work in the company, they can rise their level position on their job if they do hard work. In this case, when the employees only do alots in one way, it does not give benefits and improvement in their job. They need talent like as talent in speech. It can help them to speak up and make other people more interest to them when they give presentation. So, it will be able to increase their status level be higher in the company.

However, talent is the most important thing which people have to getsuccess in their life. In this case people have to know and understand what their talent is. Beside it will helps the people's succes, they must do hard work and never give up to try the failed of what they did in the past.

In conclusion, people should find what their talent is , to support what they do to reach their goal in the live and they must stuggle to make their live better than other people.

Here's a revision that I think can help you

Many people want to be successful in their life. They always try to accomplish it, but 10 percent of them do the work with their talent and 90 percent of the people do hard work to be successful without talent. For me personally, I agree that to be successful is not only doing hard work but, that people must have the talent also. Be a successful person is a dream that anybody can relate to. For example, the sales or marketing group who work in the company can raise their level position on their job if they do hard work. In this case, when the employees only do lots in one way, it does not give benefits and improvement in their job. They need talent like as skills in speech. It can help them to speak up and make other people more interest in them when they give a presentation. So, it will be able to increase their status in the company.

However, talent is the most important thing which people have to get success in their life. In this case people have to know and understand what their talent is. Besides it will help the people's success, they must do hard work and never give up to try the failed of what they did in the past.

In conclusion, people should find what their talent is, to support what they do to reach their goal in the live and they must struggle to make their live better than other people.

the part in blue I don't understand what you are trying to say with it.
Hope this helps!