Some people want to be independent from their families as soon as possible and some other not

Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people want to be independent from their families as soon as possible and some other people want to live with their families for a longer time for their own personal reasons. To me, independence from my parents as soon as possible is better because I love solitude and peace of mind and it makes me get stronger.

I really love and enjoy solitude and peace of mind. Since I usually don't get along with my family members, trying to be independent from my family as soon as possible is better for my peace of mind. For example, when living with my family, daily arguments over trivial things makes me go mad and decreases my concentration. On the other hand, to me, solitude and silence are enjoyable by themselves. Living on my own and in solitude makes me feel better and pass my time with more concentration.

Living independently from my parents makes me get stronger and have higher self-confidence. If I live independently, I'll have to deal with my personal problems on my own and my power of solving my own problems will increase. For instance, It'll make me learn how to get along with not having money for my personal needs and how to make more and spend it correctly. As a result, through living on my own and solving my own problems by myself, my self-confidence will increase and in the time of confronting with significant and huge life challenges, I'll do better with high self-confidence. For example, I'll do better when getting homesick when living in another country, because I'll have experienced loneliness by that time and how to overcome it.

In sum, whether living with family for a longer time or living independently from them may have its own advantages and disadvantages, but I prefer to live independently because it's more enjoyable and brings me peace of my mind and makes me feel better and get stronger.

i think you should change this sentence because it's just repeating the question .

.... It's not just people - they are young adults. Keep a track with your prompt.



I have a request for you; Post your TOEFL essays into Writing Feedback forum ( I moved it from Undergraduate to the right forum) and also have a meaningful topic in the subject field when you open new threads. I attended to that too.

OK. Thank you very much.

daily arguments over trivial things make me go mad and decrease my concentration because you talk about something plural

Thanks for the comment.

ramshah
"For instance, It'll make me learn how to get along with not having money for my personal needs and how to make more and spend it correctly."

this seems weird to me. I would personally rewrite it as follows:
For instance, without the support from my family, I would learn how to make more money and spend it correctly.

" As a result, through living on my own and solving my own problems by myself, my self-confidence will increase and in the time of confronting with significant and huge life challenges, I'll do better with high self-confidence."

I would rather say: People with high self-confidence are able to solve significant life challenges.

Back to the main idea of this paragraph, I think you have mentioned two things together: the advantage of high self-confidence, and the importance of making money and spending money. Since they mean different things, at least to me, I would put them in different paragraphs, and dig them respectively.

a few of personal opinions.

I think you should stop using the words solitude and peace of mind because you're keep on repeating these words..
I get your opinion, though. So I think this is good enough, except it being redundant, a bit.

Thanks for the comment.

Hi ramshah,
I don't say your way is incorrect. I suggest some other ways of presenting your ideas for you to understand another way of presenting them;


Living away from my parents helps me become more independent in making my own decisions. It also helps build my confidence while making me more mature.


For instance, I would be forced to manage the money I possess more efficiently by prioritizing my needs and requirements when it comes to spending.

Thanks for your comment.