Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Has people's interaction changed because of technology? IELTS



posdream 4 / 12  
Aug 13, 2013   #1
Nowadays,the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

________________________________

The world has been through so many changes in recent years. Some of these changes affects us either positively or negatively. One of the major turn-around is the advent of technology. This has affected the way some people relates with each other. However,I strongly agree that these changes are beneficial to us.

Communication is one of the potent aspect of our lives. Decades ago,before the innovations of technological ways of disseminating messages,there were other medium of passing information such as letter writing,post cards and visitings. Nowadays,peoples way of interaction with friends,neighbours and family has changed because they can easily send fax and emails. Old ways of communications are going down little by little. Traditional ways are becoming obsolete and this affects our beliefs,the new generation take it with levity. For example, my childhood friend and I broke up some months back because I never returned her visits and I just send her emails,she felt cheated and accused me of being self centered. I believe she should understand that emails are to keep contacts also but she refused blatantly.

I am sure there are more positive developments in peoples interaction since the advent of technology because it saves us time,money and energy. For instance,someone travelling from one city to another to see a friend or a loved one risks his/her live. Accidents can occur anytime. This can be replaced with a phone call and you are closer. Other developments like video calls,instant messaging and video chats are other means to interact with people. I believe all these changes are positive.

Indeed,there are so many ways technology affects our relationship with people but the positive aspects outweighs the negative aspects.

shadman19922 21 / 74  
Aug 13, 2013   #2
Your points need more development. For example:

Old ways of communications are going down little by little. Traditional ways are becoming obsolete and this affects our beliefs,the new generation take it with levity

How does the decline in the usage of old ways of communication affect personal relationships, you need to explain it in detail. How does the levity of the youth affect the level of personal relationships?

Some points feel weak outright, for example:

For instance,someone traveling from one city to another to see a friend or a loved one risks his/her live

.

This doesn't make much sense.

You should pick up this topic again, think really hard about it for 20 minutes write down points pertaining to the topic and try elaborating and organizing them
dumi 1 / 6793  
Aug 15, 2013   #3
Some of these changes affects us either positively or negatively.

changes affect/ change affects

Some of these changes affects us either positively or negatively

.... this sentence has no logic. The outcome is either positive or negative; one of them always.
Certain changes have affected us negatively.

owever,I strongly agree that these changes are beneficial to us.

... what changes? you have not talked about the type of changes in the introduction which you should have done.
jflo 4 / 12  
Aug 15, 2013   #4
I don't think this is a agree/disagree type of task. You should answer the questions stated on the task description.
Pahan 1 / 1824  
Aug 17, 2013   #5
peoples

people's

Old ways of communications are going down little by little.

.... In fact some have literally almost died down
Old ways of communication is fading off gradually.

she felt cheated

.... I think the right word is "neglected" or "ignored" .... You didn't cheat her, did you? ....LOL
I wish you picked about two to three ways how technology has affected the way people interact and talked about one by one in each body para. That would arrange your flow more logically.


Home / Writing Feedback / Has people's interaction changed because of technology? IELTS
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳