Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Writing Task 2 - People live in one place and live in many places - which is better?



fadhilmd25 41 / 71  
Sep 19, 2016   #1
In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their life time.

What are advantages and disadvantages of both?


People tend to settle in the same place whole their life, while some of them prefer to change one to another. There are several benefits and disadvantages.

Better living facilities and higher income are the main reasons why they change their living places recently. In developed countries, the government provide their citizen with easy accesses to health care, public transports and advanced education system which attract people form developing countries to move. On the other hand, the higher taxes of developed countries make people to consider again whether to stay or not.

The tremendous salary appeals the people to move away from their hometown so that they can afford enough money for their family or start a new family. In contrast, the tight requirement of job and competition among new employees have sorted the people to settle on their hometown, as they already achieve higher status in their office.

Furthermore, people living in one place has several reasons to settle, which are live nearby to their parents and already comfort with their neighborhood. At first, people whom already have raised family want to stay close or with their parents so that their children can have good relation with their grandparents. On the other hand, the children can become introvert to their friends as they feel more comfortable with their families than friends. Moreover, people prefer to stay in friendlier environment, such as their old neighborhood. This is because they think that friendly environment helps their children to increase sense of self-awareness to surroundings, however, the bad influences can easily infect their minds.

Overall, living facilities and higher income re the consideration of people to change their living places, even though the higher taxes can be a troublesome to stay on. In addition, live nearby to parents as well as feel comfortable are the reasons of why people tend to settle in one place only.

MisterWandering 18 / 314  
Sep 20, 2016   #2
People tend to settle in the same place whole their life

Many/Some/A number of people...

There are several benefits and disadvantages for each of these lifestyles .

In my opinion, your essay is a bit off-topic. The question is to clarify the advantages and disadvantages of the both staying in the same place and moving around, while your essay focuses on the reason why people choose to stay or move.
pokpok16 6 / 9  
Sep 20, 2016   #3
Halo fadhilmd25, your essay is so interesting, let me to correct yours.

1. at the second paragraph, at this sentence: "public transports and advanced", I usually found the words it should be, "public transportation and advanced", cause "transportation is a tools or equipments to carry on people, but transport is how the way you take it".

thank you :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 - People live in one place and live in many places - which is better?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳