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People's lives are the result of the choices they make - examples in people and in the literature.



amytsai 2 / 3  
Apr 14, 2015   #1
Prompt 4: Are people's lives the result of the choices they make?

Since the dawn of civilization, men and women are participating in an everlasting attempt to improve their lives by making choices. Every choices we made determine our next step and might eventually turn the course of our lives. People's lives are the result of the choices they make. This universal notion is exemplified through people and literatures.

The prime example is Sam Worthington. When he turned 30, he did not know the purpose of his life. Taking a leap of faith, he decided to sell all his possessions and started living in his car. Later he received a call from James Cameron, a famous Hollywood movie director who wanted to cast him in his new movie---Avatar. The choice of selling all his possessions resulted in stardom and the life Worthington possesses now. If Worthington had not made the choice, his life would have been totally different. However, because he made the choice, when Cameron asked him to come to America, he had nothing to lose but everything to gain.

Another exemplary paragon is depicted in the classic---Moby Dick. Ahab, Ishmael and Starbuck are sailors on the Pequod. This ship is on a whaling trip. However, Ahab is after one whale particularly---Moby Dick. Ahab wants revenge for Moby Dick's bite of his leg. At the end, Ahab throws a harpoon toward Moby Dick and gets accidentally dragged into the water and drowns. Moby Dick also rams the Pequod, causing it to sink. Eventually, everyone on board except Ishmael died. Because of Ahab's choice of avenging Moby Dick, all the people surrounding him were suffered and he himself turns out to be a selfish man who sacrifices others just for seeking revenge.

The last paradigm is delineated in The Adventure of Huck. Huck is originally a white bigot who likes to mock at the slave---Jim. Accustomed to conforming to society's idea, he ultimately breaks the mold and chooses to help Jim escape to freedom. After spending time with Jim, Huck perceives Jim is amiable, benign and just as human as the rest of the society. At length they create an unbreakable and forever amity. If Huck did not choose to succor Jim, he would never realize his perception of African Americans was wrong, and would never meet such a sincere friend.

From the quintessential attributes above, we can fathom that people's lives are the result of their choices. We can also comprehend that while we are making choices, we should be scrupulous, or we will end up to be another Ahab, a person who not only makes his own life miserable but also implicates others

thank you!!! by the way, can you grade this essay?? thank you so much!!
@ amytsai

EF_Carol - / 145  
Apr 14, 2015   #2
This essay is well written. However, I think you should introduce your three characters in the first paragraph: Sam Worthington, Ahab in Moby Dick, and Huck, in The Adventures of Huck, exemplify this universal notion.

Also, you need to make sure your verb choices match how you use them, whether singular or plural. Too, your article choice needs to be sharpened.

I think you use good examples, of people's decisions affecting their lives, and you properly divided the three examples, into three paragraphs!

Then you also vary the examples, i.e. one from real life, and two from fictional life. I think the positive/negative/positive example of human decision making is effective in keeping the readers interest.

I would give you an "A". You just needed some grammar tweeking, and a little punctuation help, as I added some commas.

Good job!

ef_carol
tamnguyen 1 / 1  
Apr 17, 2015   #3
Hello amytsai, I think your essay is great! It has a charm. I am attracted by your title, so base on your essay, I rewrite another essay. I hope can extend your essay.

I would like to begin with a story. There was a boy. He expressed an interest in nature. Regrettably, his father wanted him to learn medicine, but the boy was completely uninterested in medicine. Therefore he decided to drop out of school after 2 years without graduated certificate. Because of this decision, it not only change his future, but it also change the future of the world. The person that I want to talk about is Charles Darwin - father of evolutionary theory. It is assumed that God created man and everyone who was born has a destiny, but I don't think so. I suppose that we were born and our destiny rest on our decision. Another paradigm is depicted in history. In 1812, Napoleon decided to invade Russia. However, contrary to his plans, this aggression failed miserably. It is considered as one of the most disastrous battles of history.

From the quintessential attributes above, we can fathom that people's lives are the result of their choices. It is not destiny.


I would give you an " A" too. I think you should use the real examples. Anyway, I love this essay!


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