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Ielts writing essays on "choices" - are people unable to make decisions due to many choices?


snowflake817 3 / 6  
Oct 30, 2019   #1
I'm revising my writing skills for the coming exam. Please help with my ideas or grammar. All of your feedback is appreciated. Many thanks.

Topic:

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices.


To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


It is a common belief that currently we are living in an era of an array of choices. Compared to life in the past when we had limited resources, I totally agree with this opinion.

On a social level, thanks to competitions between vendors, more and more options are given to us. Let's take business for an example since it produces the most products and services. To be specific, when you want to buy a new pair of shoes, you can think of many brands from luxury like Gucci, LV, and Miu Miu to less costly ones at the supermarkets or local shops. Also, you do not have to come to the store to get your shoes, you can order them online and have them shipped to your place, which is developed to meet the personal demand and satisfaction.

From another angle of view, due to a rise in choices, it takes us more time to consider what we should choose. Particularly, every morning when I wake up, I cannot think of what I want to have for breakfast immediately. Why does this even matter? It is because there is a variety of food stalls and dishes out there to try. And it is as various as that for other issues such as which school to study, which job to apply for or how to make more money. People will give you different answers to these questions, which illustrates the diversity of choices.

All in all, our modern life offers us more options when it comes to everything. However, since we have such a lot of choices, we should consider each one carefully to come up with the best decision.
ntlinhtran 3 / 8 3  
Oct 30, 2019   #2
Your grammar is quite good and I think not much to correct. Just one point: "Let's take business as..." and I think you can omit the part "since it produces ... services".

Your ideas are very clear and you have good choice of vocab and phrases. I think your writing can easily get at least 7 and more.

Good luck on your coming test
OP snowflake817 3 / 6  
Nov 1, 2019   #3
@ntlinhtran thanks for your comments


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