Increased Prevalence of Insomnia
Now a days insomnia has become quite prevalent.Besides enormous factors contributing to this epidemic, one of the predominant factor is surge in stress levels in our daily lives.Which has not only be affecting adults but also have been affecting youngsters adversely.As a result there is a huge strain on an individual and society as a whole.
Although there are many reasons which are responsible for taking away the sleep at night including work pressure for adults and to some extent helicopter parenting for children of all ages.But the most profound reason is social media's pressure and addiction.Social media have been successfully able to impaired the quality time which a person can spend with family and friends.Most of the people before the onset of sleep are addicted to spend significant amount of time and and concentration needed for sleep during night time.
Sleep deprivation also has adverse effect on society as well as an individual's mental and physical well being.People have been loosing their concentration levels and hence have started desisting themselves from taking responsibilities because of persistent fatigue caused due to insufficient of sleep. Especially students are unable to perform reasonably well in academics and extra curriculum activities as they are tired most of the time.Frustrated youth due to insomnia has caused a great deal of toll to the society as well, there has been an abrupt increase in the anti social activities.Students and government should take some collaborative action to curb the proliferation of this epidemic.
In summary, there has been an obnoxious growth in cases related to lack of sleep.The most common reason is over exposure to social media which in turn causing social pressure.We along wit government should take some preemptive measures to avoid unimaginable repercussions at later stage.
Please check your spelling and punctuation. Try to use comma so that the reader can pause and understand your message.
Now a days =Nowadays
Comma missing after Nowadays, Besides,
Check subject-verb agreement.
Which has not only be affecting adults but also have been affecting ...
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Sumit, are you taking the pen and paper or computer based Task 2 test? If you are taking the computer based Task 2 test, you are going to lose major points for not hitting the space bar after the period in a sentence. Your presentation becomes ill formatted and difficult to read. This was a consistent error throughout this particular presentation of yours. You also have a tendency to type repeated words in a sentence. Please take pains to edit your work.
These seemingly harmless errors can have really impactful repercussions on your final score. By the way, there is a dash between the word pre and emptive. It is spelled as pre-emptive not preemptive. Then you misspelled the word "with" as "wit". All of these are truly evident of carelessness on your part. The buildup for which can lead to your failing the actual test. There are so many GRA errors in this essay that I am absolutely sure you will get a failing score for that particular scoring consideration.
Since you did not post the original prompt with your essay, I am going to refrain from commenting on the content of your presentation. I am not sure if you are discussing this essay properly based on the discussion requirements. I can only make a general review of your work which is good enough for this type of writing. A more thorough and helpful review would have come from a review of your response based on the discussion instructions as provided to you.