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(IELTS) People in the past used to be more dependent on one another



william731 18 / 43  
Feb 19, 2013   #1
People in the past used to be more dependent on one another, whereas nowadays the lead a more independent life. Do you agree or disagree?

In this dynamic world, people have built up a strong problem solving skill through adapting the changing environment and they rarely seek for others' assistance. Thus, some believe that people are becoming more independent than they used to be. Personally, I do not agree with the claim that people are losing their interdependent behaviours.

The favourable view toward people's independence suggests that mankind nowadays are encouraged to be independent since they were teenage. As parents has lesser time spent with their children mainly due to job issues, children have learnt how to take care of themselves. Therefore, they have already developed an independent character through their growing up lives. Besides that, the prevalence of the Internet has substituted the way people searching for help. They rather post questions on some forums than talking with their families or seeking advice from their friends.

On the other hand, there are increased occasions that people have to rely on one another. For career perspective, some jobs like engineering are specialised and sophisticated which require people working as a team and co-operating with each other. Moreover, there are circumstance where the Internet cannot offer any help. For instance, when facing some problems such as financial difficulties, it is undeniable that people are dependent on others' assistance, either from families or friends.

To conclude, the dynamic world has forced people to cooperate with each other. Although the Internet has change the way people seeking assistances, they are still dependent on others when it comes to serious difficulties.

joythblessy 86 / 266  
Feb 19, 2013   #2
Hai,,willam...

Your introduction you gived your opinion... good...):

It is agree/disagree question...
You can completelly agree with the statement/completelly disagree===>explain the reasons of your agree /disagree in two body paragraphs..no need to explain other side...with examples

You can partially agree with the statement, then you should explain both sides with examples..

So follow this structure while attempting agree/disagree questions...

Tessy
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 19, 2013   #3
In this dynamic world, people have built up a strong problem solving skill through adapting the changing environment and they rarely seek for others' assistance.

In this sentence, I don't see any relevance to you topic :(
Your first task in the introduction is to introduce the topic to the reader. So begin with a strong sentence that is well aligned with your topic. My suggestion;

In today's dynamic world, some believe that people are less dependent on one another in contrast to the people of older generations. .... this is enough to introduce your topic.

Personally, I do not agree with the claim that people are losing their interdependent behaviours.

Hey.... you are going out of track. What you need to agree with or not is that people today are more independent.
OP william731 18 / 43  
Feb 19, 2013   #4
thanks joyth, I am sometimes confused about disagree/ agree and to what extent do you agree question.

thanks dumi, i should have used a more direct approach.
Patty An 2 / 2  
Feb 20, 2013   #5
I like your introduction.
but I think your third paragraph is supportive enough, I mean, in your essay I tend to believe that people are becoming more independent.

As parents has lesser time spent with their children mainly due to job issues, children have learnt how to take care of themselves.

"have"
firstEVA - / 1  
Mar 16, 2013   #6
Hai,,willam...

I do appreciate all the idears in the introduction.

however, as an A&D essay, your are supposed to argue why dissagree the contexts of the second paragraph to highlight your thesis.
littlekid 986 7 / 16  
Mar 16, 2013   #7
I think you did well , however , your third para is contrast to you aritcle's topic, it needs a little bit improvments.


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