Many people prefer to open their own job field rather than enroll to a corporation or organisation

Some people decide to start their own business instead of working for a company or organisation.
Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people prefer to open their own job field rather than enroll to a corporation or organisation. Although this may brings a merit, as we need longer time to earn money and has a bigger possibility to experience bankruptcy, start a business has some benefits for indovodual and other. For instance, that will teaches a person to be an independent man, create a new job field for unemployment people and improve the financial condition of his country.

Build a new company will not be easy. There are many things need to be prepared, such as the briliant business idea and well-developed business plen. Even though so, a business need very long time to grow. It needs a bog effort to build connection with other company or even to hire people who different problem which may be faced, that is why it has a bigger possibility of loss of profit.

On the other hand, new corporation needs to hire others who will be the partners to build the business. It means, there will be a job field opened and brings a new hope for people who have not get a job yet. This also will let a person learns how to be independent or leader, and teaches us to criticize in facing different problem. A developed country have have lots of private business, which means that the residents tend to start a new business can be an alternative way to improve the economical rate of a country.

In conclusion, start own business brings many advantages toward an individual, public and the government, since it would improve the personality and problem-solving skill of someone, brings new hope to others who cannot find a job for his self and reduce the financial issues in a country. However, start new company is not easy and they have to experience bankruptcy

Although this may brings a de merit, as wepeople need longer time to earn money(...)starting a business has some benefits


The explanation here is not clear. What do you mean by "other"? Is it for other people, or other company?


I think you do not need to put this in the introduction since it is a further explanation for the argument.

BuildOpening a new company will not be easy(...)well-developed business plen(spelling ). Even though soHowever , a business need (...)to build connection with other companycompanies

there will be a job field wich is opened(...)person learns how to be independentindependence ora leader,

In conclusion, starting own business brings many advantages toward an individual, public and the government,
(I think the explanation about the advantage for the government is not stated celarly. Look at it carefully )