Please evaluate the essay below for the given topic in Subject :-
Technology has revolutionized the world. I do agree that Technology has helped ease our life's a lot. A quick reflection on
a typical day reveals how technology has revolutionized the world.
Technology is part of our life ,weather it is from morning brush with a battery operated tooth brush ,through toaster /
gas used for food , car / public transports for going to office / market / party etc ... ,watching TV the entertainment
center , Browsing internet ...social networking sites to stay connected and till the time to say good night and turn off
the lights with a remote. I feel the invention of phone has helped people to go places to achieve there dreams and still be
connected with there family.This is a perfect example that people thinking of themselves to fulfill there dreams and making
use of technology still are connected with there family.
Technology saves time , be it cooking food in fully operated oven or washing clothes in a fully automated washing machine
.We save time by flying to places now ,than taking months to travel across the oceans, Technology helps money get places so
easily in minutes.Technology makes our life simpler and easier to enjoy ,making it less boring.
But where all this is true ,technology does weaken our thinking capacity. If i have a calculator to solve all my
mathematical problems then why do i strain my brain to think for a solution? But can a calculator solve the complex
trigonometry problems or complex algebraic equations . The answer is NO. That needs a human brain power, which is still not
lost. Remember who made technology ? Its us the human beings . Even with the Artificial Intelligence coming in picture, it
can never match the Human behavior ,the sensitivity and the intelligence but yes it saves us from doing the rudimentary and
repetitive stuff and feel bored with our work.
Yes we do rely more on technology to solve problems ,but then there is no denying that it does make us lazy - lazy
enough not to do our stuff ourselves. Well i would definitely want to add that it all depends on how people use it. Lets not
have technology make us Lazy but rather help it advance us and enjoy the power of technology.
I guess you prepare yourself for TOEFL ore IELTS. If so follow this structure which dumi suggests for the introduction of this task;
No one can argue with your opening sentence. However, though you cite a plethora of examples in which technology is shown to be a part of everyday life, you do not compose a well constructed argument that conveys your position clearly. As for the second part, I think the last three lines constitute a robust position. What you're saying is technology is neither good or bad.
What it boils down to, from my own ephemeral stream of thinking, from my perspective put into words:
Ironically, how humans choose to use technology is the ultimate determining factor in whether it has a negative or positive impact (emphasis added).
You have the fundamental idea, so prepare it by striking a more deliberate balance in your essay between the pluses and minuses of technology. In fact, the structure of your essay does not even need changing if you lengthen the segment elaborating on pitfalls of technology. If you need some examples of how technology can be a negative force, here's some ideas:
1. Lack of human to human interaction
I hope that helps.
Thanks for the detailed response Mustafa.