Some people say the fashion industry has a bad effect on people's lives. Do you agree?(IELTS WRITING

It is argued that fashion industry has a negative impact on human's lives. I partly agree with this statement because i hold the belief that fashion can be a factor helping improve the quality of life. This essay will prove that.
On the one hand, appearance plays a vital role in modern life. Nowadays, the society development leads to the high demands for life such as beauty. People have more chance to improve their outlook. Clothings or accessories can be the items to elevate the styles, emotions of which people are wearing. Making the suitable choices to dressing in each occasions is a not easy thing, which show your respect and politeness with the others. For instance, in business, the men have to wear the necktie while high heels complete the women' suit.
On the other hand, garment industry bring the bad effects on the earth. Because there are plenty of brands with many price levels, people have many choices in shop for clothings. Consequently, people can buy a mass quantity of clothes with adequate budget. The overwhelming of manufacturing leads to the large amount of garment materials which can not be composed. As result in, the natural habitats are destroyed.
To sum up, fashion industry can help improve the beauty awareness of people but it still exist considerable disadvantages.

Please be mindful of the word count for the task 2 essay. The minimum requirement for a passing score consideration is 250 words. Writing less than that, say the 220 words that you wrote in this presentation, will result in an automatic failing score due to word count deduction percentage application. Usually, this means that the essay starts with a failing score, which prevents a passing score consideration overall.

The writer's opinion is also incorrect in terms of presentation, which will lead to a non passing score since the opinion provided is not the required opinion. This is a single opinion, agree or disagree essay. Do you agree or disagree in totality? The writing instruction does not ask for a measured response (To what degree?). Therefore, the preliminary TA score, which is 50% of the overall score, is also a failing one already. There is absolutely no way this sort of presentation will receive a passing score.