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Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others ...



amelia_nx 1 / -  
Jul 14, 2021   #1
Title:
Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful.
Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful.

Discuss both view and express your opinion



There are two schools of thought on the criteria of measuring success. Some consider wealthy individuals to be the most successful. While others believe that success belongs to people making positive social contributions. In my viewpoint, even though the former view can be true with regard to the situation, the latter is more reasonable and profound due to several reasons.

On the one hand, there are reasons why people believe that high incomers gain the most success. First, it is an irrefutable fact that high - net worth individuals can afford a higher quality of life. They can enjoy a luxurious lifestyle with high-cost products such as jewelry, outfits, and vehicles. Second, there's no doubt that well-off people usually work in large companies in high positions. They can also run their own business. So as to procure this position, these people have a high level of ambitions and experience in their work field. Therefore they gain trust, respect, and large income on a monthly basis. This can be exemplified by many cases of executive leaders or successful start-up company owners.

However, I am still fully convinced that the most everlasting legacies belong to less superficial and more profound contributions and sacrifices. In other words, the impact of people dedicating their lives to society's common good exists longer than material wealth. For instance, president Ho Chi Minh, whose name can be dearly referred to as "Uncle Ho", dedicated his whole life to the unity of Vietnam without considering his material possession. Moreover, people like teachers or doctors whose successful contributions to society are believed to be their deep knowledge. To be more specific, these people have to spend time and effort acquiring knowledge. From that, society's needs and their job requirements can be both satisfied. Without doubt, they cannot become affluent from devoting most of their time to community contribution. Yet their accomplishments in various fields often withstand the test of time.

In conclusion, while the tremendous power of money can gain a privileged lifestyle, there's no doubt that true success lies in people who committed their lives to make the world a better place.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15371  
Jul 15, 2021   #2
Although the writer delivered an acceptable paraphrase and personal opinion, the actual discussion format is incorrect and not prompt responsive. The discussion mistake stems from the way all the points of view come from the writer's opinion alone. The instruction format actually asks the writer to provide an explanation for each public point of view ( 2 paragraphs) using 3rd person group references, before the singular first person pronoun personal opinion.

The essay is all about showing the examiner that the writer is capable of developing an analysis first, without bias (public opinions ) and then, with bias (personal opinion) which is one of the more commonly used college and masters research writing formats.


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