People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors.
Do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that nothing exerts as much influence on one's shopping habits as the age bracket into which he falls. I disagree with the idea. In my opinion, there are a variety of factors which are more influential.
First, disruptive innovations including online shopping overshadows age in determining people's shopping habits. The elderly, who are the most conservative segment of the population, tend to stick to old norms and practices. They are usually in contrast with younger people, who are eager to embrace novelties. However, in this era when electronic commerce is on the rise, even senior citizens are turning to shopping websites and thus they do not show much difference from young shoppers. For example, my grandfather, who will turn 85 this year, and me, who is in my early 20s, both become regular users of Taobao, the Chinese version of Amazon.
When to make purchases, affordability is another consideration which carries more relevance than age. Most of people, regardless of the age, are habituated to buying the best things for which they can pay. Take clothes, for example. The rich tend to develop a habit of going to fancy boutiques in pursuit of customized suits that never fail to arrest attention, while the poor perhaps have no choice but habituate themselves to browsing eBay for what is sold at discount.
In conclusion, I am in disagreement that age is the most significant factor in deciding one's shopping habits. His financial means can have more impact. Innovations which bring revolutionary change to life also exceeds age in terms of relevance.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,033 4247
In the restatement + response paragraph, the additional task accuracy score and clarity of your opinion consideration will come from the final sentence. You already disagreed with the statement, You already said you were going to give your opinion based on a variety of influential factors. Why didn't you outline these topics for discussion in the same paragraph to help add to the overall conciseness of your presentation. The restatement + response paragraph also serves as your thesis statement for your opinion. So the strength of your opinion, the clarity of your support, comes from the way that you clearly support your opinion with opinion discussion points and then following through in the actual discussion paragraphs.
The discussion presentation is clear in every paragraph and well supported. However, you are scored also on the natural sounding opinion that you present. The discussion needs to flow naturally in terms of word usage. The ease by which the reader can understand your presentation is scored in the GRA section and the LR considerations. When you use words that sound like you are just trying to impress the examiner to get a higher score, you tend to score less. Mostly because the word you have chosen to use does not truly fit the sentence requirement. Words such as habituate, when the term "used to" fits better shows a memorized phrase type of writing. You should try to insert everyday words in your presentation rather than "big words" that tend to remove the ease of sentence presentation to the reader. Additionally, the term "poor" was misused in this presentation. The poor would not have access to the internet, much less have the extra cash to use for online shopping. However, the middle class do have a greater tendency to shop on eBay at a discount. The word reference matters, not just the meaning of the word. Every word has to be used in the proper context, based on a relevant meaning.
I see. Thanks. I will try to improve my writing accordingly.
Your ideas are great, but there is a contradiction in the first body paragraph. The first and second sentences of the essay are usually be seen as the topic sentences. Thus, the way you illustrate the traditional elders' shopping habits makes me confused and consider that you agree with the topic statement.
PS: ..., including...: usually use in a sentence have more plural subordination noun; if there is only one, I would like to use such as, like, etc.