Some people spend the entire lives in one place. Others move a number of times.

Some people prefer to stay in one place in all their lives while others like to move another place and searching new area. I believe that moving to other places during my life provides many good opportunities for me in my job, relationships, and other parts of my life. The following statements express my basic reasons for this opinion.

At first, when I go to other places I can be familiar with new people, new culture, and new believes that all of them is so amazing for me; I can see the people and cultures that before I just reading in books or watching movies about them. Also, I can make new friendship with these people and increase my friend numbers.

Additionally, I want to continue my education at higher degree so if I go to other countries I can consider their universities and choose one of them which more appropriate with my condition. Also, I can get good opportunities in my interest job that never could I get it in my hometown. These situations can change my life greatly and help me gaining my wishes.

Moreover, as my grandmother says, the traveling can build the persons with worth full experiences achieved in their moving. There for, with moving more to other places I can earn more skills and knowledge.

With noticing to the reasons that I mentioned above, even though these travels sometimes gather with separate from my family, I believe that moving to other places and don't stagnant at one's, has more benefits for me. Besides, my family always supports me to going to new places and improving my experiences.

I think this is superfluous, maybe change it into a purpose would be better.


would you agree if I revise this sentence like this, it will be concise: I believe that moving to other places provides many good opportunities of job, relationship, and other potential benifits for me.


superfluous words

believes
Keep it plural:
...new people, new cultures, and new beliefs that are all so amazing to me; I can see the people and cultures that before I was just reading about in books or learning about through watching films.

Also, I can make new friendships with these people and increase my number of friends. numbers .

These situations can change my life greatly and help me gaining my wishes fulfill my aspirations.

Moreover, as my grandmother says, the traveling can build the person's character with experiences achieved while moving from place to place. Therefore, moving often to new places can enable me to gain more skills and knowledge.

:-)