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TASK 2 people tend to have children later in life



antiphysics 1 / -  
Jul 4, 2022   #1
NOWADAYS, MORE AND MORE PEOPLE DECIDE TO HAVE CHILDREN LATER IN THEIR LIFE.

DO THE ADVANTAGES OF THIS OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?



With cutting- edge technology, living standards have become higher than ever. That is the reason why a large number of people want their infants to be born later, so that they can focus on their careers to ensure their children a comfortable life. From my view, its benefits prevail over the drawbacks.

Having pregnancy at old age has prominent benefits for pregnant women's children. One of the most advantages is that they can focus on their career and enjoy their life. Not having a baby early, spouses can enjoy cohabiting with each other, which could make their relationship more close-knit such as: they could understand each other well and then have less conflict between wife and husband. A spouse with steady jobs could accumulate satisfactory income, which can ensure their children's life. Moreover, they can easily accommodate their children's needs. Children can enjoy their happy and joyful life without worrying about hunger or illness. Finally, rich experienced parents in life could provide their children with proper advice for many things such as how to distinguish fresh or unfresh vegetables, and learn the differences between healthy and sick cattle, which is just a small amount of youth knew about this nowadays. Despite some worries about the health of late-born babies and elderly mothers, advanced medical technology can lessen the rate of these cases significantly. That's why they are no longer a concern.

However, this can bring some negative drawbacks. Because of living in different generations, parents can not keep up with recent trends like teenagers such as fashion style, popular dance, which can be hard for the parents to understand. Apart from that, parents and adolescent's thoughts can somehow contrast. Take the preferences in music for instance. While middle aged people like enjoying traditional and folk music, the youth will have more interest in pop music.

To conclude, I believe that despite being in a distant generation gap, the benefits of having pregnancy at old age can outweigh the drawbacks.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15466  
Jul 5, 2022   #2
Do not place the basis of the writer's opinion / thesis statement in the first sentence. Always follow the uniform presentation format of:

Sentence 1: Restate the topic
Sentence 2: Writer's opinion
Sentence 3: Reason for the opinion

By following the standard presentation and placing the information in the correct sections of the paragraph, the writer will be able to achieve a higher preliminary score due to the clarity of his idea presentation / thesis statement. Any information that is not contained in the original prompt and presented ahead of the thesis will result in point deductions. That said, the discussion basis would have been highly beneficial to the score had it been placed in the correct section of the presentation.

Old age refers to senior citizens or people whose ages no longer allow them to bear children. Advanced age simply means a person who is in the later stages of adulthood, still young enough to have children. The writer clearly shows a lack of proper English word usage in this case. It will be noticed and deducted from the LR score.

Word count and point deductions will be applied for the 2nd reasoning paragraph that counters the writer's original statement. Due to the sudden change in opinion, the score will now be based on an unclear opinion and under developed discussion presentation. Always remember that the A/D essay is based on a single opinion defense. It is never comparative.

Will the essay fail due to these errors? There is a likelihood that it could happen.


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