Some people think that in the future lots of changes will occur that will improve our society

why the changes that are coming are positive?

The world is dynamic changing everyday, as the result of technology innovation, many people believe that the changing will push our civilization up. In my opinion the merits outweight the drawbacks. This essay discusses the reason why the changes that are coming are positive, then I will give my opinion about what kind of changes will happen.

The main reason why I believe our society will develop in some positive ways is that science and technology are helping our society gain incredible achievements to our lives. We can easily aware that the medical industry has significantly improved the average age of humand due to the development of technicals and devices. In early 19th century, the average life expectancy of 40 years, compare to present, average life expectancy has been doubled, up to 72 years.

Another reason why I support this opinion is that the enhancement of robotics are gradually taking over many kind of tasks that people have to do before such as household chores, do dangerous jobs, etc so that this will enable us to have more free times to enjoy our lives.

However, the are some negative changes will occur. The main issue is that people are spending too much times on their smartphones which caused the lack of direct interaction among people in our society and lack of physical activities of our children. For example, I spend 4 hours every night to suffer Facebook and watch Netflix, whereas 10 years ago, I would spend time with my family right after I came home.

In conclusion, the merits of changes in the future seem to outweight the drawbacks as it can improve many aspects of our lives such as health, convinient, save times and help our lives more enjoyable. However, the decline of comunication in real life may leads to emotionless in our society. Given this situation, it seems that we should decrease times to spend with our smartphones and increase times with our relatives.

many kinds
outweight
convenient
communication
Your writing showcases a good balance between simple and complex sentences, although the effective use of sentence length cannot be easily measured.

The main discussion instruction for this essay is "Do you agree or disagree?" The secondary discussion point is "What kind of changes will occur?" Based on the discussion path that was set out for you in the original prompt, it appears that your response is not related to the topic provided. The topic being the 2 discussion questions provided to guide your discussion.

Your response is related to positive and negative, merit and demerits. There is no proper response to the question outlined in the paraphrase section. You will start your scoring consideration at the lowest possible level because of this error. When you are asked a yes or no question, respond with a yes or no response. When asked if you agree or disagree, respond in the same manner. Failure to do so will alter the discussion instruction, as what happened in your essay, causing a scoring deduction for you.

Your conclusion offers an opinion where none was required by the original prompt. These prompt deviations are the biggest problem of your presentation as these alter the discussion instructions, causing you to create your own essay topic and presentation format. It does not follow the expected response format. Due to this alteration, your essay will not be able to receive a passing score. Your TA error will make sure of that.

Paragraph 2, line 2: human
Paragraph 2, line 2: i think "due to" should be change to "thanks to"
Paragraph 4, line 1: "there are", I think it is a type error, right ?
Paragraph 4, line 2: i think "physical activities of children" should be change to "for children"
Paragraph 4, line 2: "suffer" to "surf"
hope you read this and check my essay too. Thank you a lot. Enjoy @kieumanh007 !