success can be achieved only through hard work and determination
A successful life is one of the most ambitions for humans. In order to achieve success, some people think that hard work and determination are the key factors, while others think that money and appearance are more necessary. In this essay, both views of this issue are elaborated and I will give my opinion on why I stand with the first one.
On the one hand, it is true that money and appearance are two vital keys to someone's success especially when they start their own business or they work in the movie industry. First, starting a business requires a huge amount of money to hire staff, purchase machines, or rent an office. Therefore, regardless money is not the only key to success but it is an important factor that contributes to a good business. Secondly, an attractive appearance also helps actors in their careers. Audiences tend to be attracted by pretty women, strong or who leave an impression in their minds, so actors with attractive looks have a huge advantage in their industry.
On the other hand, hard work and determination are more important for people who want to achieve success. For example, some fields require physical activities such as sports and some fields require determination and curiosity such as education cannot achieve success through money or appearance. Sports require daily exercise and training in order to keep fit and maintain performance at the peak. Besides, education needs researchers to stay curious about the surrounding environment or features in order to invent applicable things that improve human life. Moreover, financial problems can be solved by loaning to banks or characteristics can resolve bad looks. There are a lot of actors who succeed by their sense of humor or acting ability, so if someone believes in their ways, through hard work, and determination, they will get what they deserve.
In conclusion, money and appearance can facilitate people in their careers but success only can be achieved through hard work and determination.
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You are writing a comparison essay that should focus on 2 things:
1. An explanation of the public opinion with the correct usage of group pronouns. This must be done for both public opinion presentations.
2. You must present a stand alone personal opinion paragraph that explains additional reasons that you support a certain stance. Otherwise, you have failed to present a convincing discussion in support of your opinion. Consider using first person pronouns to represent your opinion so that the examiner will know where the public opinion ends and your personal explanation begins. That will require you to write a stand alone 3rd reasoning paragraph though. A method of writing that will help with the clarity of your discussion presentation and also help to increase your score.