Factors to succeed in career
Recently, in developed countries, a heated discussion has occurred, numerous citizens hold the belief that working hard and determination could be the main contributors to success in their careers while the opponents of this viewpoint have strong beliefs that others factors are much more essential, particularly money and good appearance. From my personal perspective, I strongly take sides with the advocates assuming that determination and diligence are the fundamentally elementary factors.
On the one hand, it should be borne in mind that the merits of an economic and attractive look are undeniable. As a matter of fact, the employees who are wealthy could apply for occupation smoothly in various lucrative companies. For instance, when you are recruited in enterprise, at first you could not stand in high position and must excessively attempt in order to achieve those. Nevertheless, business relationships, which are frequently created from money, would facilitate superb achievements immediately. Secondly, in recent decades, it is claimed that gorgeous presentation is paramount importance to certain key sectors, especially entertainment and fashion. Beauty would bring more success to variety singers as well as models as they could get much attention from the audiences and the chance never ceases to grow for them to attain the significant society-ladder.
On the other hand, it is assumed that various factors are actually essential, encompassing determination and hard work. There is no doubt that diligence heightens the status in a particular enterprise. If attractive appearance is just the first impression, it is alertness that would prove to the chief minister that the employee has enough capabilities to address obstacles , even in the most grueling curriculum. A good case in point is that a staff member , who feasibly negotiates with affluently grumpy partners and makes a return for the firm, obviously would be promoted. Regarding the determination aspect, only by having this factor could agents stay in their jobs as well as working productively. Hence, they would be appreciated and increasingly outstanding , subsequently climbing to their peak of career is evident.
In conclusion, although the beneficial advantages of cash and gorgeous looking in work are noticeable, I am wholeheartedly convinced that determination as well as diligence are the mainstream elements to become successful.
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The original prompt requests that you discuss the topic based on a 3 paragraph format. It clearly states: Discuss both views then give your opinion. Such an instructions requires a compare and contrast discussion presentation for the first 2 paragraphs based on the public opinions provided in the prompt, not your personal opinion yet. Only after the comparative discussion can you state a personal opinion that supports or argues against one of the given public opinions. This cannot be presented as a general discussion or solely personal opinion format.
You should also avoid presenting your personal opinion in the concluding paragraph. Not only is that the wrong position for your personal opinion, but your personal opinion comes across as the least developed opinion in the presentation, thus garnering the lowest possible consideration (if at all due to the improper placement of the sentiment), and lowering your score in the process.