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Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos.



drjanck 2 / 4  
Jan 15, 2017   #1
Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


Hello, Holt I have written a different essay. It would be a great help if u could score this one too.

zoos - good for human, harm for animals?



Keeping the wild animals in the zoo has become a controversial issue. Some citizens have a belief that carnivores animals should not be kept captive. But, others are of the opinion having zoos are beneficial. In my opinion, wild animals should be set free in their territory rather than keeping them in the zoo for human entertainment.

On one side of the argument, some people prefer that wild animals should not be kept caged because it makes difficult for these animals to adapt. However, zoo authority will try to give natural habitat, particular to that animal but they will be confined to a restricted area, which in turn can make problematic to get settled in the new environment. Additionally, they are kept alone in a cage which can make them feel lonely.Either of these causes stated above can lead to the death of the animal. Furthermore, impounding these animals can lead to suppressing their natural instinct of hunting.

On the other side of this issue, zoos will benefit with a variety of reasons. Firstly, zoos are the form of an educational centre. As these zoos provide talks or even interaction with the animals, for children, it forms the avenue for them to know about a particular animal in that session in detail. Secondly, people visit zoo so that they can have a closer view of wild animals as it will not be possible to go in forest to view them.For example, In London zoo, we are able to have a closer look of penguins and can attend the show to know more about these animals.

In conclusion, having a zoo gives many positive effects for human beings but, it is doing no good for wild animals. Therefore they should live in their natural home.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15384  
Jan 16, 2017   #2
Janaki, the task accuracy is still at a 3 at this point. Your paraphrasing is almost at par with the original statement. The only problem being that the prompt indicates wild animals in general and you focused the essay on carnivore animals. Do not use terms that not included in the prompt because it changes the meaning of the discussion. While I understand that you are trying to show a wide vocabulary in an effort to improve your lexical resource and grammar accuracy range, if you do not use the correct words in the essay, then using these average vocabulary words will not help to improve your score. Now, since your task accuracy is still at a 4 and your failed to present your personal opinion within the essay as indicated by the instructions, the essay will still not score higher than a 3 at this point. When you are asked to discuss both views then present your opinion, the format should be like this:

1. Introduction with paraphrased prompt
2. First opinion discussion
3. Second opinion discussion
4. Personal opinion
5. Conclusion with restated prompt

Try to follow this format for all the succeeding essays that you will write that asks you to present both sides and then a discussion of your personal opinion.


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