The percentage of Australian children aged 5-14 years and their activities

The bar chart illustrates the percentage that australian children in 5-14 years old do in their spare times on various activities. Overall, it can obviously seen that with the exception of watching TV or videos and doing art and craft, boys always have more percentages than girls.

Closer look at the data reveals that 100% girls and boys prefer to watch TV or videos in their free time which the most popular activities that they do most in their free time. Boys are also many more than double the number of proportion than girls doing skateboarding or rollerblading with 39% and 22% respectively. Apparently the number of boys spend their spare time by playing electronic or computer games is more than riding bike while girls have fairly similar proportion for both activities with a gap of approximately 1%. Afterwards, compared to art and craft, is the only one activity that is predominantly undertaken by girls rather than boys with 59% and 38% respectively.

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Hi Taufiqul.
I closely read your writing. I will give you few suggestions and hope these can improve your ability.
Good job..

The bar chart illustrates the percentage ofthat aA ustralian children in 5-14 years old do in their spare times on various activities. Overall, it can obviously seen that with the exception of watching TV or videos and doing art and craft, boys always have more percentages than girls.

Alternative sentences: Overall, it can be seen that watching TV or videos is the highest percentage of activities spent in free time by the Australian children, with the similar percentages between the boys and the girls. In addition, the percentage of the boys is larger than the girl in three categories, except watching and craft.

Note: When you write a paragraph, you should write at least three sentences.

A Closer look at the data reveals that 100% girls and boys prefer to watch TV or videos in their free time which is the most popular activitiesactivitythat they do most in their free time . Boys are also many more than double the number of proportion than girls doing skateboarding or rollerblading with 39% and 22% respectively. ?( I guess 39% is not more than 2 times of 22%)

Note: You should carefully analysis data which you read so that you can describe the data accurate.