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The percentage of visitors in Brighton's Attractions between 1980 and 2010 - IELTS TASK 1


ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Jan 17, 2016   #1
A breakdown of some alterations to the percentage of tourists to England who come to Brighton's four different attractions is illustrated in the line graph from 1980 to 2010. Overall, the aforementioned evidence describes that, over a 30-year period, Pavilion reached a higher peak than three other attractions in the middle of the pattern. Meanwhile, Festival attraction experienced a slight fluctuation then remained stable until the end of the period.

There was a gradual growth in the proportion of tourists who visited Pavilion and Pier attractions in 1985, about 25% and 10% respectively. Furthermore, in 1995, Pavilion reached its peak at 50% in the percentage of tourists; however, Pier attraction witnessed a fluctuation. 2000 saw a significant decline in the proportion of tourists of Pavilion, while Pier experienced a slight fall. In the end of the period, Pavilion saw a gradual drop to approximately 30%, while Pier grew to its peak at roughly 21%.

With regard of Art Gallery and Festival, 1985 witnessed a dramatic rise and a slight dip successively. Moreover, Art Gallery experienced a significant fall to 20% in 1990, and then continued to rise slightly in the following year, which led to a gradual fall in the end of the period. However, Festival saw a slight drop in 1995, and then continued to rise slightly in 2010, which remained unchanged until 2010.



vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Jan 17, 2016   #2
Good work Mochtar. The report summary clearly and properly decpits all of the information in the graph chart that was presented to you. The summary is understandable, even in the portions where you English development is choppy and a bit confused / unclear at times. The fact that you used the sign for percentage instead of the whole word made the essay much easier to read and allowed for the proper understanding of each figure that you presented. Now, for a breakdown of your grammar errors, with corrections applied.

... of some alterations CHANGES ...
... a higher peak RATE OF VISITORS ...
than THE three
... Festival attractionS experienced ...

... 50% in the percentage of tourists;
... however, THE Pier attraction
... tourists of TO Pavilion ...

With regard of TO...
... slight dip successively ...
... slightly in the following

Overall, the essay is impressive. Offers up the proper information in a professional manner, and allowed you to show off your English comprehension and written skills to a good extent. Keep up the good work :-)


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