IELTS TASK 2: The phenomenon of a global trade in the worldwide

As global trade increases, many goods, including those we are use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance.

Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Many primary needs that produce in many nations are readied in the international trade. As a long distance track, the goods are imported to accomplish the fulfilment of people. Although it could be further bankruptcies among small local business, I strongly believe that it is benefits to some extent since the needs of society which cannot be found in their countries are available in this global market.

The international market can give some negative effects. Firstly, many entrepreneurs in the small business can lose their costumers since almost people switch their fondness in the global market. In addition, the profits of enterprise get off a lot. Less number of selling can reduce the funding of company and it leads to the business closure. As a result, the business makers will end up with the destruction.

However, the effect on the worldwide market has not all been negative. Although it makes the financial loss for the local retailer, it gives a chance for the national business to extend their capacity of public selling in overseas. In addition, the quality of products is growing significantly because the standard of goods is high in globally. Again, people can fulfill their needs which are not served in their countries. Evidence of this can be seen with certain people are not caring about the extensive track of shipping the commodity. There is no doubt that the existence of the international market is very vital for the citizen.

To sum up, although the global market will affect the profits of the business worker, I believed that it gives advantages for society to find their goods which not exist in their country. Therefore, I would suggest that people can get merits in joining the international market.

Hi
Firstly, many entrepreneurs in the small business can lose their costumers since almost people switch their fondness in the global market. - give explanation why?

for example, this is because imported product have good quality with lower price than local goods, so it would attract consumer enthusiast to purchase it.

thanks

Firstly, many entrepreneurs in the small business ...

Many entrepreneurs in the small business can lose their costumers since almost people switch their fondness in the global market. (explain it deeply)

to create good body you should follow this pattern:
a. Main idea
b. Reason
c. Example
d. Result
e. Conclusion
Since I did not know clearly the example, I suggest you to put linking word like For example

Many primary needs that [...] available in this global market.

This is my suggestion for an alternative introduction to your writing:
Trade acitivity is of pivotal role in economic life in order to fulful basic needs of global citizens. As such, Many daily needs which are produced in other areas in the worlwide are distributed for international market. Although it will reduce the market share of local brands, I extremely believe that it can provide various necessity of residents which cannot be found in domestic markets.

Your phrase: The international market can give some negative effects. it seems unclear as a main idea. It is better to explain by: It cannot be denied that some negative impacts could potentially occur in the global market chain.