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In Philippines, many nurses usually choose to look for a job overseas, than stay in their country



Alamsyah Ismail 24 / 38  
Sep 22, 2016   #1
IELTS Writing Task 1 Nurse Migration

There are different conditions between number of nurses in develop countries and developing countries. The condition caused by movement of nurses. In the develop country, for example in Philippines, many nurses more choose to find a job in overses than stay in their country. High salaries and better quality of life can be a major reason of their choosing. The disadvantages is the position in the native country unfilled. In the other sides, in the developing countries, amount of nurse can make much health care services available. But, in the United States, the aspects create condition which is reducing of large amount of qualified applicants every year because shortages of nursing faculty. Finally, the condition indicated to us how important of nurses function.

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Dioba 68 / 97  
Sep 22, 2016   #2
Hi Alamsyah,after reading your summary, i have some suggestions, perhaps usefull for you
1.Word spelling mistake:
In the develop country, for example in Philippines,----> developing
overses ----> overseas
In the other sides, in the developing countries ------> developed
2.be a major reason of their choosing ----> be a major reason of their decision
3. But , in the United States, ----> change with Meanwhile
Fatirtalent 12 / 17  
Sep 22, 2016   #3
Dear Alam
you've done it better. here several comments for you. i hope it could help you

1. developedcountries and developing countries
you can't write develop, because it is verb. writing its adjective form

2. many nurses moretend/prefer to choose to finding a job oversea s than stay in their country >>> many nurses tend/prefer to choose finding a job overseas ....

more choose, it sounds strange. better you use word tend/prefer to describe someone's preferences.

3. of life can be a major reasons of their choosingdecision

add "s" on reasons because it should plural and better to vary your vocabulary, maybe you could use decision to replace choice

keep spirit and turn of the light


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