IELTS - Task 1 - Physical Activity awareness among different sexes and age people in Australia

Statistical description based upon the graph and chart

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The presented bar chart compares between Australian men and women in terms of their regular physical activity in 2010.the data was segmented into six age groups.

Overall, it is clear that the percentage of women doing physical activities is mostly higher than the percentage of men in all ages groups except the one from 15 to 24 in which men outperform women with 5%.

The proportion of women doing physical activities in age from 35 to 46 is nearly steady at 53% while those in ages of 15 to 24 and 65 and over almost shared the same percentage 47%.

Men in ages brackets between 15 to 24 registered the higher percentage at almost 53% in performing physical activities. While men in the ages from 35 to 44 had the lowest proportion at\ 39.5%. men and women aged from 65 and over had a similar percentage in performing regular physical activities which is nearly 47%.

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Hi Rwannajjar

I appreciate the quality of your writing as a whole, you did an excellent job in terms of providing detailed data in the chart, as well as making comparison where relevant. I want to give some advice mostly on improving the use of prepositions and paraphrasing words in the graph

... except FOR the one from ... women BY5%.

The age group of 65 and above can be paraphrased as the elderly population

... registered the A higher percentage ...

The phrase "regular physical activity" can be paraphrased as "regular exercises"

The summary paragraph is missing a trending statement at the end. The summary paragraph is the first paragraph of this task essay. The essay must be written in paragraph form. Even if you meet the word requirement with single sentence presentations, that will drag your score down because you are not presenting fully developed paragraphs based on an analysis of the bar chart. You have to do proper comparisons based on related information in every paragraph. Please remember that you should avoid writing run-on sentences in order to improve your cohesiveness score. Make sure to use periods to separate information instead of the word "and" or commas because those will result in long sentences. That is also the main reason why you did not meet the paragraph sentence requirement for the essay.