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The pie chart gives us information where people who travel to New Zealand come from



mem77 62 / 93  
Sep 13, 2016   #1
International Visitors to New Zealand : country of origin

The pie chart gives us information about where people who travel to New Zealand come from. According to that data, there are six countries of origin visitors who come to New Zealand. And also on that chart, there are seven parts of chart to differentiate each country.

A closer look at that chart shows that Australia has the largest percentage for country of origin visitors on New Zealand, which is forty percent. The second place is come from United Kingdom on twelve percent. United States makes complete of top three usually visitors come from to New Zealand, on the nine percent.

The East Asian countries, China, Japan and South Korea, send five percent, four percent and three percent each. However, twenty-seven percent come from other European countries. Overall, on the pie chart we know that more than seventy percent of holidaymakers come from Britannia areas.


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kiki23 37 / 58  
Sep 14, 2016   #2
Hi Mem77! Here some advices:

First, I think your writing is less than 150 words. Second, you need to put the conclusion or strong statement in the first paragraph before you continue to the next paragraph. Third, avoid repetition and try to use the synonym of the common words appeared on your writing.

For example:

countries=nations
origin=homeland
Mita22 3 / 1  
Sep 14, 2016   #3
Hello mem
I would like correction your writing
I think you writing is less than 150 words and your word is 145 my be you can put more
Send ( five percent ) 5% ( four percent)4% and ( three percent) 3% my be you can used number not just words .
Come from United Kingdom ( on ) around 12 %


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