The pie charts illustrate how the proportion of annual expenditure was changed in a UK school

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

fluctuation of spendings

The three pie charts illustrate how the proportion of annual expenditure was changed in a UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Overall, what stands out from the graph is that the biggest expenditure was on teachers' salaries throughout the 20 years, while insurance stayed on the lowest spending. Another interesting point is that there was a huge invest in furniture and equipment from 1991 to 2001.

Looking at the details, in 1981, 40% of total school expenditure was on teachers' salaries and in 1991, it considerably increased by 10%. Afterwards it slightly decreased to 45% in 2001, but still remained on first place. In terms of insurance, there was only 2% and 3% of expenditure in 1981 and 1991 respectively. However, it surged from 3% in 1991 to 8% in 2001.

With regards to furniture and equipment, by 1991 there was a drop by 10%, from 15% to 5%. However, it significantly rose by 18%, reaching 23% and ranked the second biggest expenditure in 2001.

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Jens, while you wrote 166 words for this essay, which is above the minimum requirement, that was not enough to gain you a final score higher than a 4 overall. That is because the information that you presented in the summary is incomplete. For starters, your overview summary did not represent all of the required points based on the pie chart segment titles. Those classifications were a necessary part of the summary. Then, you presented the pie chart information incorrectly in your body. Since there were 3 charts, there should have been 3 individual presentations for each pie chart prior to the overall comparisons that you presented. The individual chart presentations would have better delivered the measurements in expenses per chart, thus creating a more comprehensive summary report on your part. This essay is a good effort though. There is still room for improvement and I am sure I will see those improvements over time. Keep writing. You can only get better from here.

Hi Jens, welcome to Essay Forum. I wanna try offering a few suggestion for finalizing your writing.
Firstly, if you wanna paraphrase the given statement, please don't miss from the meaning.


had changed

Following this, you should merge between the first and second paragraph becuase two elements are included in the introductory paragraph. After that, I really believe you can boost your score if you can make your overview better. You need to make it more attractive. For example,

Overall, it is important to note that the school had absolutely located the most budget for earnings of teachers, while the csot for insurance had obtained the smallest part of outlay.

On the other hand, you should keep in your mind that the good paragraph is supposed to include at least 3 sentences. There were many paragpraphs which did not meet the requirement. Turning to your paragraph, your tended to list the data although your job in writing task 1 is to compare figures, not to describe sepaarately.

Hopefully, these suggestion can help you
Practicing more and more is the way to master this skill.
GOOD LUCK

Add a little comment, regarding following sentences, it seems no need to mention the data in 1991 since you presented similar data in 1981 and 1991 in the sentence before.

However, it surged from 3% in 1991 to 8% in 2001.