Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS Writing task 1 - pie charts present the expenditure of senior students in 3 high schools



vaananh 1 / -  
Oct 28, 2023   #1

summarise the information from the graph



The chart shows the expenditure of senior students in 3 high schools on 5 different categories in 2005.
Overall, it is clear that the percentage of money spent on entertainment accounts for the majority while the expense of money spent on clothing and food was minor.

Regarding entertainment accounts, one quarter of the percentage of money spent on video games by Beaufort and Westmont students. Whitford's students spent 4% more than Beaufort's students, at 32% and 28% respectively. Roughly one quarter of money was spent on music in Westmont and Whitford compared to only 8% was spent on this category in Beaufort. Watching movies is also a popular activity in Beaufort and Westmont, at 22% and 28% respectively. In contrast, Whitford's students spent only 8% of their total spending on this category.

The majority of money was spent on food in Beaufort and Westmont, at 30% and 20% respectively whilst only 10% spent on this category in Whitford high school. Whitford's students spent approximately a quarter of their spending on clothing. Only 12% spent on clothing by Beaufort's students which doubled the figure for Westmont's students.


  • Screenshot2023102.png


Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15467  
Oct 30, 2023   #2
Kindly identify the type and number of images next time you write a task 1 essay. It will help keep the reader clear on the number of images that will be discussed and how these images were used in the presentation. It is meant to help increase your overall score as the lack of those references tend to lower the preliminary presentation score.

You did a good job of providing the information to the reader in the reporting aspect. However, you should have found a way to explain which information comes from which pie chart so that the reader would have an idea that you are not talking aboit information that was combined into just one pie chart. That is where the report got confusing for me.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 1 - pie charts present the expenditure of senior students in 3 high schools
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳