Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 2


IELTS- Writing task 1: Pie Charts: Valentine's Day Gifts



nguyenminh 3 / 4  
Jul 22, 2011   #1
This is my second post, and I hope to give some feedback from all of you. Thank you so much and have a nice weekend.

Pie Charts: Valentine's Day Gifts

The graphs below show the types of gifts that men and women in the USA buy for each other on Valentine's Day.
There are links of pie charts:

admc.hct.ac.ae/hd1/english/graphs/pie_va1.gif
admc.hct.ac.ae/hd1/english/graphs/pie_va2.gif

The pie charts compare the types of gifts that men and women buy for each other on Valentine's Day. Overall, it is clearly seen that the most popular gifts in USA are card, flowers and candy.

The most common Valentine's gift is card with nearly one fifth of men and over one quarter of women purchase for it. Fair sex prefers offer candy to their lover, 21% of women compared with 14% of man. In contrast, 16% of strong sex prefers buy flowers to ladies, more than 5% of their counterparts. About a half of both men and women choose these three items as gifts in Valentine's Day.

Other gifts are jewelry, perfume, lingerie, personal care, and so on... In this group, the least popular gift that men buy for women is perfume (4%) and that women buy for men is personal care (1%). A quarter of men spent money in other items while 17% of women do so.

In conclusion, the trends of choosing gifts in Valentine's Day in both sexes are not much different. There are plenty of presents can be purchased, but card, flowers, and candy are the top three gifts.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jul 25, 2011   #2
Those of the "fair sex" prefer to offer candy to their lovers, 21% of women compared with 14% of man.

In contrast, 16% of those of the strong sex prefer to buy flowers for ladies, compared with 5% of their counterparts.

Other gifts are jewelry, perfume, lingerie, personal care, and so on. In this group, the least popular gift...---I took away the dot dot dot (ellipsis)

I think you should not talk about the "fair sex" and the "strong sex." It can seem sexist. You should keep it simple and write "men" and "women."

:-) Nice job! This kind of writing (about charts) is the hardest kind!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS- Writing task 1: Pie Charts: Valentine's Day Gifts
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳