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IELTS Writing task 1: Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place now

thuithuidangiu 1 / -  
Aug 8, 2019   #1

how a health centre has changed

The two pictures show how the layout of a health complex has changed from 2005 to the present day. It is noticeable that facilities and transport service have gone through development and construction in both the interior and the exterior of the center.

Looking at the changes in more detail, we can see that there were three indoor consulting rooms at the complex in 2005. However, a fourth consulting room has been constructed, reducing the former consulting rooms in size. In addition to this, there has also been a building of a minor operations room behind the unchanged office, while the physiotherapy still remains intact. There is also more free space in the hallway as the reception desk has been removed to the front of the office and next to the newly added children's play area.

The maps also show that modifications were also made on the outside of the building. In 2005, the parking lot, situated in the south of the complex, had the capacity of 12 spaces. However, in the present, it has been enlarged, replacing the land which was previously used as a garden. Due to this significant development, the parking area is now available for 18 more spaces and have made a decline in the garden's size.

Thank you for your time and consideration!

Maria - / 1,098 389  
Aug 10, 2019   #2
Hello there. You're welcome in advance! Just reach out to us if you have any other concerns or issues that you wish to be resolved.

I find that you have a tendency to overcomplicate your sentences. This makes your writing immensely difficult to comprehend at times due to the inconsistency of text. Because of the variations and technicalities present in this analysis, I suggest opting for a simpler tone to elaborate with more clarity.

Let's take a look at, for instance, your second paragraph. The third sentence appears to be bloated with text, making it difficult for readers to fully comprehend the details present here. If you can, you should be able to strategically focus your information without needing to forcibly link details into one small piece of text.

Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 1: Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place now
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