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Toefl essay -- planning and organization



claire echo 5 / 12  
Aug 19, 2009   #1
topic the ability to plan and organize is more essential for young people now

it is no longer uncommon to hear people complain about what a mess is their life. workers forget to pay their bills because they are stuck in their work, housewives carry home with two bags of glossaries but unfortunately they forget to buy one of their necessities. students miss one key point of their professor's requirement and have to do their assignments all over again. it is true that we are involving in a fast development of modern life, which brings us convenience as well as complex. we now not only need to face increasing requirements from work, school but also more complex choices from life. thus , even though some people are reluctant to agree that the ability to plan and organize is essential for young generation, i have to say it is true.

to start with, people now are faced with a more sophisticate society that before, emerging along with the development of science and technology is not only those skyscrapers , subways , space shuttle,but also much more detailed requirements of almost every aspect of people's life. an engineer nowadays need to concern not only about his mechanical design and the potential needs in the fast changing market, but also thinks about applying for the product patent. without the awareness of protecting his work first, it is far from enough for him to compete with others and survive in the market. therefore,with many aspects need to concern, every step the engineer takes should be well planed and organized before. as for a students, who usually bear much more heavier burden from assignments and tests , the ability to plan and organize is crucial for them. only with a mature study plan can lead a student to well finish these tasks and balance their work and play.

second, without a plan before taking action, people are very likely to be distracted from many irrelevant things and finally lost themselves in a sea of information. Take my mother as an example, she is a typical housewife, when our family runs out of necessities, she will purchase them for us. Once my mother came back home after long hours of shopping, but she soon found some important necessities were forgotten. She was simply distracted by other commodities in the mall. and without a inventory to remind her, she forget the oil and soy sauce, which caused she couldn't cook that night. Finally ,we spent extra money dinning outside. Plan and organize guarantee that people will not miss every detail, and thus complete their work more smoothly.

All in all, the ability to plan and organize is crucial and essential to people, especially the younger generation, who will face a more competitive and complex society in the future. Considering the importance of this ability, we can not emphasis it more.

EF_Simone 2 / 1975  
Aug 19, 2009   #2
I really like the narrative examples with which you start this piece. But don't forget to capitalize the first word of each sentence! Here are a few more suggestions or corrections:

to start with,P eople now are faced with a more sophisticated society than before.E merging along with the development of science and technology are not only those skyscrapers, subways, and space shuttles , but also much more detailed requirements of almost every aspect of people's lives .

S econd, without a plan before taking action, people are very likely to be distracted by many irrelevant things and finally lose themselves in a sea of information.

Planning and organization guarantee that people will not miss every detail; they willand thus complete their work more smoothly.
OP claire echo 5 / 12  
Aug 20, 2009   #3
thank you soooo much , i got it, and i'll try better next time!
EF_Simone 2 / 1975  
Aug 21, 2009   #4
i got it, and i'll try better next time!

That's the key to preparing for the TOEFL: Practicing, getting feedback, and doing better and better each time.
sirius51 1 / 3  
Sep 3, 2009   #5
to start with, people now are faced with a more sophisticate society that before, emerging along with the development of science and technology is not only those skyscrapers , subways , space shuttle,but also much more detailed requirements of almost every aspect of people's life.

this is you first sentence of your second paragraph. You seem only describe the complex of modern world. But you did not pinpoint exactly the reason why a complex world need a careful plan. So the relation between this paragraph and you topic seem a little weak.


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